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As with a low sucking sound it slowly disappeared again, Starbuck still gazing at the agitated waters where it had sunk, with a wild voice exclaimed—“Almost rather I had seen Moby Dick and fought him, than to have seen thee, thou white ghost!”
      “What was it, Sir?” said Flask.
      “The great live squid, which, they say, few whale-ships ever beheld and returned to their ports to tell of it.”

Moby-Dick, 1851


3-17-09  No one reads this column
Guys, FURL sucks. It has sucked for years, and I'm sorry I've been using it. I have switched over to delicious; I would have done this much sooner, but they made it really difficult the last time I tried.

4-21-08  Archives
Uhmm, apparently archives haven't really been working since late 2006. THANX for the heads up guys! They are temporarily fixed, and will stay temporarily fixed until I migrate to new software/layout. I have said some hilarious things in the last 7 years, that future generations will feel lucky I preserved. Go check them out.

1-18-08  new iPhone icon
Woah, it's been 3 years since the last news update! Fuzzysquid now has a webclips icon for your iPhone! It'll automagically show up when you add FS to your home screen. Atom and RSS feeds have been available for a few years now, but I never made special mention of it.

1-14-05  LJ images
Since it seems to be popular, and it's been linked in a lot of different places besides here, I've decided to post the LJ Images page. At least in the news, at least for now. It's also getting some Google ads because you LiveJournal people are sucking up all my bandwidth (35% for that one page!)

4-02-04  FURL
Check out what I've been browsing: FURL.net bookmark archive. Not much commentary, relevance, or sequitur—but it's what's keeping this blog from turning into a meme dumpster.



  1. TONMO - The Octopus News Magazine Online. Invaluable.
  2. Angrywhale - Meet Leonard. He's an angry sort of whale.
  3. The Squid Blog - From the Laughing Squid people.


  4. Moxyberry - Where the cousin is at. Her bookmarks here.
  5. Cranky User - Brian's bookmarks. Updated, unlike his site.
  6. Rosenstock - Her other ride is your mom.
  7. Lauren - Wet Hot Singaporean Blogging.
  8. Universal Donor - Like the prime number shitting bear, but with terrible back pain.
  9. Olivia - Who receives special dispensation from our usual policies.
BLAG  read the archive

Wednesday, January 31, 2007
dannyboy 10:15 AM (3)



I wonder if you can be as wide as you are tall. I say go for it. BEEFCAKE!


Way to respond to my txt messages, no-response!


what text message? I just got back from Korea on Tuesday. If you sent it before them I probably did get it... sorry :'(
I wasn't ignoring you!!!


mng168: i have to go buy some fat pants after work
dkuo: yeah you do
mng168: :(
dkuo: why :(
dkuo: you're supposed to be fat
dkuo: that's your job
mng168: :(
mng168: not yet
mng168: i'm only supposed to gain a pound a week
dkuo: how much have you gained!
mng168: not a lot
mng168: but i feel a little fatter than i should be
dkuo: well who cares, as long as you get on a plan after birth
dkuo: you can pork out as much as you want now
dkuo: as long as you accept the consequences later
mng168: yeah
mng168: having to lose 50 pounds
mng168: :(
dkuo: oh quit worrying
dkuo: and have some cake
mng168: i want some cake
dkuo: of course you do, porky

Tuesday, January 30, 2007
dannyboy 10:37 AM (0)



me: I've been looking into volunteering at 821, but they mostly need people during the weekday
me: er, 826 rather
me: 821 is the name of the bar near my house
Jessie: ha
Jessie: volunteer at the bar
me: believe me, I volunteer there enough as it is
me: I want to shape some young minds
Jessie: tell them that they're fat
Jessie: and that the only way a boy is going to like you is if one of you is sexually humiliated
me: some lessons are best learned early.
Jessie: and that you're only as important and special as your boyfriend

Wednesday, January 24, 2007
dannyboy 10:38 AM (0)



me: mmmm bacon brittle
marie: what's bacon brittle?
me: it's like peanut brittle
me: but with bacon
marie: wow
marie: that's sounds naughty

after having tried some:
“I am reminded of a friend's comment about taking her first Bikram's Yoga class. ‘I spent most of the class feeling like I was about to either vomit… or have an orgasm… or possibly both at once.’ ” -Jonathan

Tuesday, January 16, 2007
dannyboy 10:39 AM (0)



Last night I dreamed I was frantically learning to play "Two-Headed Boy" by Neutral Milk Hotel in time for the big talent show. Then I beat up J.'s boyfriend because he is a total douche.

Both these things are rooted in waking-life truths.

Thursday, January 11, 2007
dannyboy 12:52 PM (1)



Soak the pastrami IN brandy! That'll teach that stupid OBGYN!


mng168: I have a baby sac
dkuo: that sounds gross
mng168: haha
mng168: its too early to see the baby... he said sometime next week it'll just pop up
mng168: but he got a pic of the sac that it'll be growing in

mng168: ok I'm tired
mng168: gotta take a nap
mng168: bbl
dkuo: holy lazy and pregnant
dkuo: make me a sandwich!
mng168: I can't have deli meats
mng168: what I can't have, you can't have!
dkuo: wtf!
dkuo: why can't you eat deli meats?
mng168: listeria
mng168: dirty meats
mng168: haha
dkuo: you just made that up
mng168: no I didn't
mng168: there's a lot of crap I can't eat
dkuo: that's nonsense
mng168: the dr. said if I MUST have a sandwich I should heat up the meat
mng168: you should be an OBGYN
dkuo: I'm sending you cigars, brandy, and pastrami

Monday, January 08, 2007
dannyboy 9:51 AM (0)



Jessie: did you hear about this?
me: yeah I saw that on the news just before I left
me: you shouldn't stick stuff in people's mouths though
me: if they're having a seizure
Jessie: Xxxxx is epileptic
Jessie: and I asked him what I should do if he ever had a seizure
Jessie: he said get him a glass of water, don't touch him
Jessie: don't call 911
Jessie: and sure as hell don't go sticking things in his mouth
me: if I ever have a seizure, you should get me a glass of scotch and you can touch me all you want
Jessie: I am going to stick you in a tub of milk and make shakes

Wednesday, January 03, 2007
dannyboy 10:50 AM (0)



It's a good thing no one in California knows how to make pizza. It's also really good that today's my last full day in NY. Because f I stayed any longer I'd get really fat. Like Big Pun fat.

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