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As with a low sucking sound it slowly disappeared again, Starbuck still gazing at the agitated waters where it had sunk, with a wild voice exclaimed—“Almost rather I had seen Moby Dick and fought him, than to have seen thee, thou white ghost!”
      “What was it, Sir?” said Flask.
      “The great live squid, which, they say, few whale-ships ever beheld and returned to their ports to tell of it.”

Moby-Dick, 1851


3-17-09  No one reads this column
Guys, FURL sucks. It has sucked for years, and I'm sorry I've been using it. I have switched over to delicious; I would have done this much sooner, but they made it really difficult the last time I tried.

4-21-08  Archives
Uhmm, apparently archives haven't really been working since late 2006. THANX for the heads up guys! They are temporarily fixed, and will stay temporarily fixed until I migrate to new software/layout. I have said some hilarious things in the last 7 years, that future generations will feel lucky I preserved. Go check them out.

1-18-08  new iPhone icon
Woah, it's been 3 years since the last news update! Fuzzysquid now has a webclips icon for your iPhone! It'll automagically show up when you add FS to your home screen. Atom and RSS feeds have been available for a few years now, but I never made special mention of it.

1-14-05  LJ images
Since it seems to be popular, and it's been linked in a lot of different places besides here, I've decided to post the LJ Images page. At least in the news, at least for now. It's also getting some Google ads because you LiveJournal people are sucking up all my bandwidth (35% for that one page!)

4-02-04  FURL
Check out what I've been browsing: FURL.net bookmark archive. Not much commentary, relevance, or sequitur—but it's what's keeping this blog from turning into a meme dumpster.



  1. TONMO - The Octopus News Magazine Online. Invaluable.
  2. Angrywhale - Meet Leonard. He's an angry sort of whale.
  3. The Squid Blog - From the Laughing Squid people.


  4. Moxyberry - Where the cousin is at. Her bookmarks here.
  5. Cranky User - Brian's bookmarks. Updated, unlike his site.
  6. Rosenstock - Her other ride is your mom.
  7. Lauren - Wet Hot Singaporean Blogging.
  8. Universal Donor - Like the prime number shitting bear, but with terrible back pain.
  9. Olivia - Who receives special dispensation from our usual policies.
BLAG  read the archive

Wednesday, December 31, 2003
dannyboy 11:39 AM (0)



"I rocked too hard." - ME

Tuesday, December 30, 2003
dannyboy 9:31 AM (0)




Our holiday party

Someone's not feeling well...

Resting, Pabst in hand

Monday, December 29, 2003
dannyboy 8:27 PM (0)




"Vocal disgust with irony in 2003 fills the same cultural place that ironic mullets and trucker hats did in 1998. Being tired of irony is, in fact, the new irony.

"Try as you might, you can't escape the hipster apparatus. You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike..."

Sunday, December 28, 2003
dannyboy 10:05 PM (0)




French Roasting

dannyboy 10:01 PM (0)


1. The Cat is no longer a lithe, svelte, skinny little thing. My parents have overfed her and now that she's slightly full, and three, she's no longer the pouncing monster full of thunder and claws I remember. All she wants now is to be rubbed. I suppose you can't be two forever.

2. My father has become, to my horror, a doddering old man. On a clear stretch of open highway, he was braking fearfully, with no reason, all while taking up two lanes in his SUV. But he looks good doing it in his tweed driving cap.

3. You can't go back.

4. I don't know what's more unsettling: people who have changed, or those who have not--or how you being one, will feel completely lost in a group of the other. Perhaps in the end, we are who we (always) are on the inside; some just have a harder time letting it out.

5. Scarlett Johansson, most famously of Lost in Translation, is the younger sister of the girl I had a crush on in high school, and then again in college.

6. Having your 1.25" swiss army knife keychain classified as a Weapon of Tiny Destruction and consifscated is a bummer.

dannyboy 9:11 PM (0)



Helping out at the SF Food Bank

Packing spaghetti

Showing off our...

Labeled cans.

Wednesday, December 24, 2003
dannyboy 8:00 AM (0)



PEACE ON EARTH AND GOODWILL TOWARDS MEN: I'm gone for a while, folks. Call me if you can. Enjoy each other while we're here. Cheers.

Tuesday, December 23, 2003
dannyboy 10:46 PM (0)



RE. DISASTER: I didn't feel a thing. But I will tomorrow morning, when I board my plane.

moxy 10:06 PM (0)


First blackouts, now earthquakes and evil viruses that make you vomit in the morning (and evil bosses that make you go in). It's about time you high-tail it back here to the East Coast, Dan.

dannyboy 11:24 AM (0)


Found as part of an familiar, tangential comment to a discussion of John Curin's work (who I am fond of):

"She was first-generation Japanese and German - an axis beauty - and a slave-galley programmer for NASA who drove a Chevy Caprice with a V-8. We fell into each other's arms. She worshipped Heinlein's science fiction and had a black belt and a beautiful voice. I was very cruel to her, to my eventual sorrow."

It makes me think of winter solstice, and how I don't celebrate it anymore.

dannyboy 10:21 AM (0)


"I don't understand why people who are sick come in to work. Stay away from me!" saith the woman across the room, in response to my moans of I feel like poo. WELLLETSEE perhaps because my boss made it especially clear that my presence in the office, at 9am sharp, today, was critical for the success of the company (impress the board with our department's diligence). So instead of being where I want to be this morning (vomiting in my bathroom), I'm sitting here, at twenty past ten, waiting for the boss to show up.

Sunday, December 21, 2003
dannyboy 1:08 PM (0)



THE GREAT SAN FRANCISCO BLACKOUT: I'm becoming more attached to the Girl Formerly Known As Hot Roommate, because she sends me text messages telling me the power just went out again, and that buying piñatas is hard. Also, she keeps me company in front of the fire as I try to drink all the beer in our fridge before it goes bad.

Friday, December 19, 2003
dannyboy 4:12 PM (0)



Better Off Dead is one of my favorite 80s movies. Remember that Camaro? This guy does.

dannyboy 11:32 AM (0)


Hey, Liv was mentioned in this Guardian article: Best British Blogs. I think she should've won in the Most Use of the Word 'Settee' catagory.

Thursday, December 18, 2003
dannyboy 2:09 PM (0)



THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: "You can't make an omelet without backstabbing some people. And by omelet I mean 'have sex with indie rock chicks.'" -B.Y.

Wednesday, December 17, 2003
dannyboy 8:18 PM (0)



For dinner, I'm having Spaghetti-O's. This perfectly describes my life at the moment.

Tuesday, December 16, 2003
dannyboy 9:51 AM (0)



PRIDE BEFORE FALL: So I called my credit card company to demand a lower APR, because I haven't in a while, and cus you gots to keep yo bitches in line. So they laughed and said "maybe if you start paying your bill, mofo!" My problem is, sometime ago I convinced myself that I had switched entirely to a digital existence. So I stopped opening my mail. Which worked, until I started forgetting to pay my bills online. Arrgh.

So does anyone out there find forgetfulness, sexy?

Monday, December 15, 2003
dannyboy 1:25 PM (0)



98% of all tattoos are fucking stupid. I think I may have seen one tattoo that didn't make me feel completely superior to the owner. And these tattoos suck so much, they make me angry. The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing all those people will have to spend the rest of their lives with their mistakes on display.

dannyboy 11:06 AM (0)


OK, what follows is going to be my holiday, anti-consumerism rant; avoid if you'd like: Fuck Santa. Seriously. Why do I have to buy gifts for people I like this one time of the year, thus devaluing the whole idea of gift-giving? Why can't I get them crap when I want to, rather than when I'm supposed to? Why can't we just enjoy each other's company during the holidays? It's nice to get gifts, yeah, but what happens when someone gets you something, and you have nothing for them? Any other time of the year, there would be absolutely nothing wrong with that, but during Christmas, that's enough to ruin friendships. What the fuck?

dannyboy 12:18 AM (0)


Things that are no longer with us, but should be: women who wear blue eyeshadow, shoulderless turtleneck sweaters, and legwarmers.

Friday, December 12, 2003
dannyboy 10:39 PM (0)



I just received two things in the mail today. One good, one irritating, and both make me feel smug. Ha. The EFF finally sent me a tee shirt for becoming a member, but they totally lied and put the graphic on the back, and their ugly logo on the front. How early-90s. I'm going to have to wear it backwards... and be, rather ironically, even more early-90s. I'm smug because I've put my money where my mouth is, at least when it comes to digital rights.

The second piece of mail I received, I actually get 3-4 times a day—an invitation to consolidate my student loans. Well gee. I got my loans at the lowest rate offered in the last 20 years, but they still can lower my monthly payment by 40%***! How can I lose? Well back that thang up, grandma. It didn't say lower my debt, it said lower my monthly payment. By extending my payment terms... at a higher rate.

Okay, someone out there must find my financial levelheadedness sexy.

dannyboy 3:47 PM (0)


Things I want for Christmas. Although, I don't really need the tech support. Maybe like, a topless physics teacher to prepare some experiments that will enlighten the mind and bedazzle the eye. Hm. I think I've just stumbled upon a business plan...

dannyboy 3:07 PM (0)


We had some door prizes last night, with the grand prize being the DVD set of A Christmas Story, and this major award... Best prize EVAR. (Sorry.)

dannyboy 11:08 AM (0)


If it seems like I've been particularly bitter towards women lately, you're mistaken. I hate most people.

Thursday, December 11, 2003
dannyboy 11:34 PM (0)



Look, how many times do I have to say it. Girls, it is not okay for you to be rude to the waitstaff. Boys: a girl that is nice to you, but mean to the waiter, is not a nice girl. I don't care if she's hot and likes to grind with her hot friends at the company holiday party--you don't want to marry her.

(Note that there is a critical difference between knowing exactly what you want, and being rude.)

dannyboy 3:00 PM (0)


Ich (Me) is a short film by Austrian art collective Monochrom, very much in tribute to of one of my (Friendster-profiled) favorite books, TMWMHWFAH, by Oliver Sacks.

dannyboy 2:29 PM (0)


I want to make movies. I think I took a wrong turn somewhere.

Wednesday, December 10, 2003
dannyboy 2:24 PM (0)



Why do bees like my car so much?

Tuesday, December 09, 2003
Malb 11:59 AM (0)



Tried to get Sam the Atari 10 games in 1 joystick. Probably the best deal for last minute shopping on xmas gifts.

dannyboy 10:11 AM (0)


Hey, I like voting. We should have an election every month! Oh wait...

Monday, December 08, 2003
dannyboy 4:24 PM (0)



Holy mother of crap. I just ate one of these. Oh god. I think I just gave myself diabetes. I can't stop shaking. No more buying snack foods out of irony. Ugh.

dannyboy 10:42 AM (0)


One can only be contrite for so long.

Sunday, December 07, 2003
dannyboy 2:40 AM (0)



It is absolutely none of my business who the roommate comes home with at 2am. Particularly if it's not her boyfriend. Ahem. Does anyone out there really need any more convincing that long distance doesn't work? Or that women shouldn't be trusted?

Saturday, December 06, 2003
moxy 12:58 PM (0)



There's nearly a foot of fluffy white snow on the ground here in NYC. See Dan, you never should have left... =]

Friday, December 05, 2003
dannyboy 5:16 PM (0)



Today I'm wearing my favorite sneakers--which isn't unusual because I've been wearing them almost every day for about a year. This is because I've been dissatisfied with every single pair of sneakers I've bought since getting them. But the problem is, I bought my fuzzy grey Saucony's 5 years ago, and they're kind of starting to show some wear. A certain unnamed woman absconded with them and they were lost in New Hampshire for about 2.5 of those years, so they actually have aged pretty well. But they're not going to last forever. The bigger problem is that, as many of you know, I believe it's the shoes that are the window to a person's, uh, soul, and my sneaker problem is turning into an identity crisis.

I need something that's casual, but not athletic. Ambiguously hipster--you have to look at them and not be able to decide if I'm the kind of guy that owns a Fisher Price turntable that plays brightly-colored plastic records.

dannyboy 1:47 PM (0)


The Great Manhattan Snowball Fight of 2003. Everyone in the area needs to go. Just be careful of the yellow ones...

dannyboy 12:39 AM (0)


Fondant or marzipan?

Thursday, December 04, 2003
dannyboy 5:04 PM (0)



I'm having a holiday party at my place Friday December 19th. If you'll be around, come by. You can view the invitation here, and even add yourself to the guestlist (you're viewing the invite as ME, so just clicky on the "invite more people" link).

Tuesday, December 02, 2003
dannyboy 10:53 PM (0)



This is going on my wedding cake.

dannyboy 4:24 PM (0)


DISCOVERY: If you let a frosty (frostee? frosté?) melt in the fridge, you don't get delicious chocolate soup as I had supposed. Instead you get a foamy disgusting mess which belies the reason for Wendy's official classification of the item--not milkshake, not ice cream, but: "dairy dessert." For proper effect, say it with eyebrow raised and moustache-a-twirled: "daairy dessert."

dannyboy 1:53 PM (0)


I have recently come to this very important conclusion: women aren't funny. Because they don't have to be. Think about it for a minute--just how many women do you know that are truly funny. That's right, none. They can be witty, clever, or even quirky, but not FUNNY. Contrast that with men, who have to be humor-spewing robots all the goddamned time (proof: what's the first thing a woman will invariably say, when asked, "what are you looking for in a man?").

Now, I know the women reading this are all saying to themselves, "he's full of poop; I'm fucking hilarious." Right. And those capri pants don't make you look fat, either. Of all the women I've met in all my life, I can count the funny ones on one hand. Even if you split my hand in two, I'd still be able to count them. Even if you put the remainder of that into a sausage grinder, I'd still be able to count on my bloody stump, ah, well you get the idea. If you are one of these women, I will certify you and give you a laminated card that you can carry on your person.

And that, my friends, is how I came to be served with a restraining order from Tina Fey.

Monday, December 01, 2003
dannyboy 11:49 PM (0)




My new shirt. Got it at the new SF Giant Robot store. You can get one here. But don't. You biter.

dannyboy 11:11 AM (0)


Also, I AM THE PIE COMMANDER! I am the master of the pie! I make that shit work! It does what ever the fuck I tell it to do! No one rules the pie like me!


dannyboy 11:04 AM (0)


No posts lately because I've been busy, and eating well (eating makes me sleepy, and not prone to blogging--maybe this is the answer, and maybe there are a LOT of dull, underfed teenage girls out there). And yelling at my TV, because the voice recognition on Tom Clancy games requires you to have the intonation of an Annapolis hillbilly, and I unfortunately, speak the King's English.

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