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As with a low sucking sound it slowly disappeared again, Starbuck still gazing at the agitated waters where it had sunk, with a wild voice exclaimed—“Almost rather I had seen Moby Dick and fought him, than to have seen thee, thou white ghost!”
      “What was it, Sir?” said Flask.
      “The great live squid, which, they say, few whale-ships ever beheld and returned to their ports to tell of it.”

Moby-Dick, 1851


3-17-09  No one reads this column
Guys, FURL sucks. It has sucked for years, and I'm sorry I've been using it. I have switched over to delicious; I would have done this much sooner, but they made it really difficult the last time I tried.

4-21-08  Archives
Uhmm, apparently archives haven't really been working since late 2006. THANX for the heads up guys! They are temporarily fixed, and will stay temporarily fixed until I migrate to new software/layout. I have said some hilarious things in the last 7 years, that future generations will feel lucky I preserved. Go check them out.

1-18-08  new iPhone icon
Woah, it's been 3 years since the last news update! Fuzzysquid now has a webclips icon for your iPhone! It'll automagically show up when you add FS to your home screen. Atom and RSS feeds have been available for a few years now, but I never made special mention of it.

1-14-05  LJ images
Since it seems to be popular, and it's been linked in a lot of different places besides here, I've decided to post the LJ Images page. At least in the news, at least for now. It's also getting some Google ads because you LiveJournal people are sucking up all my bandwidth (35% for that one page!)

4-02-04  FURL
Check out what I've been browsing: FURL.net bookmark archive. Not much commentary, relevance, or sequitur—but it's what's keeping this blog from turning into a meme dumpster.



  1. TONMO - The Octopus News Magazine Online. Invaluable.
  2. Angrywhale - Meet Leonard. He's an angry sort of whale.
  3. The Squid Blog - From the Laughing Squid people.


  4. Moxyberry - Where the cousin is at. Her bookmarks here.
  5. Cranky User - Brian's bookmarks. Updated, unlike his site.
  6. Rosenstock - Her other ride is your mom.
  7. Lauren - Wet Hot Singaporean Blogging.
  8. Universal Donor - Like the prime number shitting bear, but with terrible back pain.
  9. Olivia - Who receives special dispensation from our usual policies.
BLAG  read the archive

Tuesday, December 02, 2003
dannyboy 1:53 PM (0)



I have recently come to this very important conclusion: women aren't funny. Because they don't have to be. Think about it for a minute--just how many women do you know that are truly funny. That's right, none. They can be witty, clever, or even quirky, but not FUNNY. Contrast that with men, who have to be humor-spewing robots all the goddamned time (proof: what's the first thing a woman will invariably say, when asked, "what are you looking for in a man?").

Now, I know the women reading this are all saying to themselves, "he's full of poop; I'm fucking hilarious." Right. And those capri pants don't make you look fat, either. Of all the women I've met in all my life, I can count the funny ones on one hand. Even if you split my hand in two, I'd still be able to count them. Even if you put the remainder of that into a sausage grinder, I'd still be able to count on my bloody stump, ah, well you get the idea. If you are one of these women, I will certify you and give you a laminated card that you can carry on your person.

And that, my friends, is how I came to be served with a restraining order from Tina Fey.

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