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As with a low sucking sound it slowly disappeared again, Starbuck still gazing at the agitated waters where it had sunk, with a wild voice exclaimed—“Almost rather I had seen Moby Dick and fought him, than to have seen thee, thou white ghost!”
      “What was it, Sir?” said Flask.
      “The great live squid, which, they say, few whale-ships ever beheld and returned to their ports to tell of it.”

Moby-Dick, 1851


3-17-09  No one reads this column
Guys, FURL sucks. It has sucked for years, and I'm sorry I've been using it. I have switched over to delicious; I would have done this much sooner, but they made it really difficult the last time I tried.

4-21-08  Archives
Uhmm, apparently archives haven't really been working since late 2006. THANX for the heads up guys! They are temporarily fixed, and will stay temporarily fixed until I migrate to new software/layout. I have said some hilarious things in the last 7 years, that future generations will feel lucky I preserved. Go check them out.

1-18-08  new iPhone icon
Woah, it's been 3 years since the last news update! Fuzzysquid now has a webclips icon for your iPhone! It'll automagically show up when you add FS to your home screen. Atom and RSS feeds have been available for a few years now, but I never made special mention of it.

1-14-05  LJ images
Since it seems to be popular, and it's been linked in a lot of different places besides here, I've decided to post the LJ Images page. At least in the news, at least for now. It's also getting some Google ads because you LiveJournal people are sucking up all my bandwidth (35% for that one page!)

4-02-04  FURL
Check out what I've been browsing: FURL.net bookmark archive. Not much commentary, relevance, or sequitur—but it's what's keeping this blog from turning into a meme dumpster.



  1. TONMO - The Octopus News Magazine Online. Invaluable.
  2. Angrywhale - Meet Leonard. He's an angry sort of whale.
  3. The Squid Blog - From the Laughing Squid people.


  4. Moxyberry - Where the cousin is at. Her bookmarks here.
  5. Cranky User - Brian's bookmarks. Updated, unlike his site.
  6. Rosenstock - Her other ride is your mom.
  7. Lauren - Wet Hot Singaporean Blogging.
  8. Universal Donor - Like the prime number shitting bear, but with terrible back pain.
  9. Olivia - Who receives special dispensation from our usual policies.
BLAG  read the archive

Wednesday, April 30, 2003
dannyboy 4:50 PM (0)



300 Reasons why the British love the Simpsons. Stupid limeys can't count... Anyway, here's two:

Agent Mulder: 'We want you to recreate your every move the night you saw this alien.' Homer: 'Well, the evening began at the gentleman's club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon.' Mulder: 'Mr Simpson, it's a felony to lie to the FBI.' Homer: 'We were sitting in Barney's car eating packets of mustard.'

Homer: 'Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?' Apu: 'Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.' Homer: 'Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack of beer and a couple of bags of Skittles.'

dannyboy 9:21 AM (0)


This morning I may be closer to financial freedom than I think, buy a car from $500, have 5000 postcards printed for only..., get free money to pay my bills, and multiply my cup size instantly.

dannyboy 9:18 AM (0)


Last night I had a dream in which I was writing a post to this website, but it was completely non-sensical, in the typical way anything written in your dreams tends to be (it's a right-brain, left-brain thing). I thought wow, this is cool, I'm going to save it and post it for real. So I did... in the dream.

Tuesday, April 29, 2003
dannyboy 7:47 PM (0)




Monday, April 28, 2003
dannyboy 4:26 PM (0)



So, like, how big is stuff anyway? 1 pixel per meter.

dannyboy 3:16 PM (0)


Holy gross. I do miss the old old subway tokens, with the "Y" cut out of the center.

dannyboy 2:25 PM (0)


[ Archiving has been on the fritz for the month of April. This might be what ultimately pushes me off the fence in switching from Blogger to Movable Type. But that really would mean a complete site redesign, which I'm not prepared to do at the moment. ]

Sunday, April 27, 2003
dannyboy 10:59 PM (0)



I found a four-leaf clover in Muir Woods today. Stories of unbelieveable luck to follow.

Saturday, April 26, 2003
Malb 8:04 PM (0)



Have the same opinion for "Better Luck Tomorrow", not great but nicely made w/ a low budget. MTV is definitely getting a profit. Just watched my 1st two episodes of "Most Extreme Elimination Challenge" on TNN today. Pretty funny, especially w/ host Beat Takeshi as Vic Romano. whoo, that was awesome!!

rurouni 9:12 AM (0)


Weird, watching saturday morning cartoons and it seems like I recognize some asian guy on tv. Reminds me of a certain pastor we may know? By the way, saw 'Better Luck Tomorrow' yesterday. Had higher expectations, but all in all it was nicely made.

Friday, April 25, 2003
moxy 2:22 PM (0)



It's your crazy sex appeal, Dan...

Alex and Dora's co-ed bridal shower is this coming Sunday - wish you could be there! Alex is getting married... go figure!

dannyboy 9:34 AM (0)


Now please stop walking around my house naked.

dannyboy 9:30 AM (0)


You are a girl. You have a very good body, but despite trying, and overtly, you can't get laid. Not even on your birthday.

I am a boy. My life for the past 12 years has been singularly motivated by sex. You offer, and I say "no thanks." There is something seriously wrong with you, that you're triggering my survival instincts.

Because no amount of booze or showering would be sufficient.

Tuesday, April 22, 2003
dannyboy 4:12 PM (0)



Well. Use it or lose... wait. Uhm. A twig in hand is better than two berries in the... wait, no, that's not it. Be careful or you'll lose your bit and pieces? Don't look a gift-fish in the mouth. Hm. 'Tis better to have peed and lost than to never have peed at all!

eito 3:19 PM (0)



Two Papua New Guinea fishermen have bled to death after having their penises bitten off by pirahna-like river fish. The fish, which zero in on urine streams in the water, have struck terror among villagers along the Sepik River, in north-western New Guinea. Authorities believe the killer fish is an introduced member of the South American pacu family and a relative of the piranha. In both of last month's fatalities, the fish demonstrated a trait of the piranha by following a trail of urine in the water, swimming to its source and then biting it off with razor-sharp teeth. "The reason for biting people on their genitals is a result of the fish detecting a chemical change in the water, swimming up the urine trail and biting the genitals." This behavior was well documented in the Amazon, he said. Source: TheAge

dannyboy 10:07 AM (0)


I won't buy Massive Attack's new album because it's copy-restricted (not all US versions are, but I don't like that fans are being told to fuck off by musicians they have supported in the past).

I won't buy Norah Jones' new album because it voilates the definition of "CD" (it's not ethical to restrict what I do with something once I own it, DMCA or not).

I won't buy Madonna's new album, because she sucks.

Monday, April 21, 2003
dannyboy 11:19 AM (0)



You East Coast fools are clogging up my map! Thanks, much, to everyone who left a note. It's good to put some names/personalities with the anonymous server stats. And thanks for reading the site.

If you want to make my day, leave a message for me. Especially if you're the ex-pat living in Japan, or the Norwegian whaler who found my site by searching for "kjempeblekksprut," or the Disney employee looking for "The Head Sucker's Moxy." On second thought, if you're that last guy, maybe you should just keep quiet.

dannyboy 10:54 AM (0)


And she, a poet.

Sunday, April 20, 2003
dannyboy 7:04 PM (0)



In my dreams last night I was a moderately successful sculptor.

dannyboy 2:33 PM (0)



Lisa sent me an Easter greeting!

dannyboy 11:46 AM (0)


Happy Easter. Rock on. Peep research.

Saturday, April 19, 2003
dannyboy 11:37 PM (0)



There is no measure for the distance separates each person from one another. Unless, you happen to go to your favorite Japanese restaurant with a large group of extremely loud friends of friends of friends, who compose such an offensive dining experience, you wouldn't be surprised if you're blacklisted from said restaurant, forever.

I don't think I spend enough time with people who are not like me. I mean, I'm sure no one does, really. I don't know girls who drink Coors Lite and like Bon Jovi. I don't know anyone who was born, lives, and will most likely die in the same place as their parents. I will know more non-white people in my life than not. I haven't eaten at a McDonald's for years. I don't think I'll ever be happy not living in, or very close to a major metropolitan area. I don't listen to the radio. I don't watch TV.

I don't really know what my point is here. Maybe I just forget that not everyone is like me, or would want to be. I think what I'm really saying is that it's absolutely amazing that I've found people who I "connect" with, at all, in whatever capacity--and we should all be thankful for the friends we've got.

Also, it's rather rude to order the one piece of sushi that a restaurant is particularly proud of, and then not eat it because you're worried that the fish will make you sick. Out-loud. And then leave it on your plate, molested, mutilated, soaked in a pool of soy sauce.

dannyboy 1:56 PM (0)



And what goes better with sex than politics. The image above shows where the political compass found me. Link from the outstanding J-Walk Blog, whose map looks identical to mine.

Thursday, April 17, 2003
dannyboy 1:11 PM (0)



OK! Time for some sex. And science! Here's a link about an art/porn film, shot in infrared. Maybe that will satisfy those who are here looking for 'sexy alien images.' To further our understanding of just what in the bejeezus is going on when we do the freaky-freak, several MRI-sex studies have been done. Perhaps I'm revealing a bit too much about myself when I say I find all of this very hot. But it's really more about my hot scientist chick (buddy holly glasses, labcoat, and tight bun) fantasy, than it is about being stuck in a MRI tube for an hour. [links pilfered from bb]

Wednesday, April 16, 2003
dannyboy 4:06 PM (0)



God. I've been disgusted lately (again) with the state of the union. I'm too weary to comment on the nonsense that's happened in the last few days, but if you care about your freedoms, you already know. Here's what made me want to vomit today: a former executive for banner ad giant DoubleClick has been selected to be the first ever privacy czar for the Department of Homeland Security. Once again, the US government kicks us in the nuts.

Tuesday, April 15, 2003
dannyboy 12:32 AM (0)



I hate knowing how things work. I wish the world was seamless again. Also, I hate cucumbers.

Monday, April 14, 2003
dannyboy 12:35 AM (0)




She direct linked one of my wallpapers, for use as her site bg.

And here's a good reason why you shouldn't do that.

dannyboy 12:33 AM (0)


I liked the way Brian chose to describe my website.

Search terms that people are finding my site by: ovaries, gianter squid, sexy alien images, hot julie, and of course: eat my poopie. Indeed.

dannyboy 12:23 AM (0)



I'll be wearing this hoodie for the next two weeks

Sunday, April 13, 2003
moxy 8:27 PM (0)



I think this requires some visual support, Dan. :]

dannyboy 3:25 PM (0)


I mean, why? Why would you become a hairdresser if the only thing you're going to do is make people cry?

dannyboy 3:08 PM (0)


This is turning out to be a not so good week. I just got the worst haircut I've had in 6 years. I'm currently thinking about shaving my head. I've found a woman that I like to go to in Noe, but she's been out of the country for the last 5 weeks, and she won't be back until May. I may need to fly back to NewYork to get this taken care of. Why does God punish me this way?

Saturday, April 12, 2003
dannyboy 4:25 PM (0)



It's been raining all day. I woke up this morning... er... afternoon... to the loudest thunderclap I've ever heard. It sounded like the boiler blew up. Rain makes me want to go somewhere, but stay inside at the same time. I think I just like the feeling of running inside and shaking off the wetness. It's also a bit problematic when certain types of weather are inextricably linked to people from your past.

dannyboy 2:07 PM (0)



Friday, April 11, 2003
dannyboy 9:48 PM (0)



Anyone going to Russia soon? I want one of these. Info here.

Wednesday, April 09, 2003
dannyboy 9:53 PM (0)



You live with your mom, in the suburbs, with no where to go, underneath a pile of snow. You can't spell, or manage to not sound like a 14 year old girl on AOL chat. I'd say, you're the fool, fool.

Malb 8:29 PM (0)


who's the fool now...makin' fun of new york n it's snow...i dun have a dent in my car. hahaha..cali sucks!!

dannyboy 7:57 PM (0)


People shouldn't be allowed to drive cars unless they can prove that they're competent. But I guess that's just crazy talk. I mean really, what would they do, require a state-administered exam? It's not like there exist instituitons of learning where people can be taught to drive. I suppose only in a world of fantasy, will these "schools of driving," and "licensing exams" exist.

Fucking California.

dannyboy 7:47 PM (0)


Goddamnit! I HAVE A GARAGE! I park at my company's garage when I'm at work! I spent 3 hours in the Haight last night and some jerk hits me!! P:@(G$E@

dannyboy 7:36 PM (0)



dannyboy 7:36 PM (0)


ARRRRGH some jerk hit my car while it was parked on the street last night. I just noticed it now as I was checking my tires at the gas station. GODDAMNIT. There's a huge dent in the hood. Yeah, looks to be about trailer-hitch height. "OH{#RO*@U#E. Every SUV I see tonight is getting keyed.

dannyboy 7:31 PM (0)



dannyboy 12:20 PM (0)


Last night I had a dream that I was getting married on stage in a play, but the wedding was real. I woke up in the middle of it, and I could remember every detail about the dream, except who my bride was. In the middle of the ceremony I realized that I had forgotten to get a ring, but my brother-in-law gave one to me in a gift box. It had a giant emerald with lots of smaller diamonds encircling it. He was wearing a sparkly sequined vest with his tux, and had a matching top hat. I started laughing until I realized I was wearing the same thing.

dannyboy 11:12 AM (0)


So how come no one mentioned that it snowed in New York? HAHA, God played an April Fool's joke on you jerks! Just goes to show, He loves Californians more—by about 35 degrees.

Tuesday, April 08, 2003
dannyboy 11:14 PM (0)




dannyboy 8:29 PM (0)



Monday, April 07, 2003
dannyboy 1:18 AM (0)



Today for the first time in my life I considered purchasing a plant. A ficus. Of the future.

Sunday, April 06, 2003
dannyboy 3:41 PM (0)



Speaking of California, Vertigo is one of my favorite Hitchcock films, and it was filmed in San Francisco. This page has stills from the 1958 movie with photos of those locations now. This post is dedicated to Ann, who is moving out of the city.

Friday, April 04, 2003
moxy 9:28 AM (0)



Those California drivers, man. It must be the drinking water and the sprouts.

dannyboy 9:22 AM (0)


OK. I've been commuting to work 40 minutes south for about a week now, and something needs to be said. California drivers are the suckiest bunch of sucks that have ever sucked. For the love of crap, what is so damned hard about using your turn signal?

dannyboy 12:07 AM (0)


Ok, and what the crap. It looks like Reuters is letting high-school journalism students write articles while all the real reporters are in Iraq. Take for example this excerpt:

"The body of the colossal squid is much bigger than the giant squid, which can weigh up to 900 kg, 2,000 pounds when fully grown. A giant squid's tentacles can be up to 13 meters long, compared with five meters on the recovered creature."

Pop quiz hotshot. Which can weight up to 900 kilos when fully grown, the "colossal" squid, or the "giant" squid? And if the colossal squid is so much bigger than the giant squid, why are the tentacles on the recovered colossal only 5m, as compared with "up to 13m" on the merely giant?

Thursday, April 03, 2003
dannyboy 11:58 PM (0)



It makes me glad that several of my friends independently send me the same links to breaking squid-related news. Here's the CNN version. It's the same source text. Compare that with the one posted below, and you can see why I mock my friends working in VISUAL DESIGN at Yahoo.

moxy 3:44 PM (0)


Holy gianter-than-giant-squid, Batman! I'll pass up the colossal piece of sashimi, thanks.

PS. Dan, that was awesome. You had me fooled to the point where I was starting to panic. You bastard ;)

Wednesday, April 02, 2003
dannyboy 10:22 PM (0)



I feel like my life is winding down to a forgone conclusion.

Malb 8:26 PM (0)


jerk, i still want my $13.50 back....

dannyboy 7:20 PM (0)


Yesterday was April 1st. Traditionally around the world, people try to "fool" their friends and colleagues on this day. The French like to pin fishes on each other's backs. Americans enjoy pranks that are a little more involved. Ok? Now stop asking me to bring you back chocolates.

Tuesday, April 01, 2003
dannyboy 7:20 PM (0)



Look, I just want to say it once for the record: Billie Jean is not my lover. She's just a girl, who thinks that I am the one; but the kid is not my son.

Malb 1:20 PM (0)


What! You're kiddin' right..about the graduate program part!! Now how am I gonna get back that $13.50 you owe me. Dammit Dan, you suck @$$ big time. >_<

dannyboy 1:50 AM (0)


Holy sweet goddamn. My roommate just told me she's pregnant... and she says it's mine.

I'm pretty sure she's just doing this because she doesn't want me to go. But I can't wait around for a test to be done. I don't know what I'm going to do. Start packing, I guess.

dannyboy 12:08 AM (0)


Well, I just heard--I'm leaving the country in 24 hours! About a month ago I applied for a pilot graduate program at the Schule fur Gestaltung in St. Gallen, Switzerland, not really expecting anything to come of it. Mostly because of the insane demand, due to the man running the show: Werner Von Heisenberg, the legendary typographer. The program will be exploring the transitory nature of type in the digital age. Better from the horse's mouth: "Der Affe ist auf der Tabelle. Traurig ist mein Löffel zu groß." --One can determine the where, or when of a medium, but not both simultaneously.

So screw this crappy country! From now on, I'm neutral!

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