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As with a low sucking sound it slowly disappeared again, Starbuck still gazing at the agitated waters where it had sunk, with a wild voice exclaimed—“Almost rather I had seen Moby Dick and fought him, than to have seen thee, thou white ghost!”
      “What was it, Sir?” said Flask.
      “The great live squid, which, they say, few whale-ships ever beheld and returned to their ports to tell of it.”

Moby-Dick, 1851


3-17-09  No one reads this column
Guys, FURL sucks. It has sucked for years, and I'm sorry I've been using it. I have switched over to delicious; I would have done this much sooner, but they made it really difficult the last time I tried.

4-21-08  Archives
Uhmm, apparently archives haven't really been working since late 2006. THANX for the heads up guys! They are temporarily fixed, and will stay temporarily fixed until I migrate to new software/layout. I have said some hilarious things in the last 7 years, that future generations will feel lucky I preserved. Go check them out.

1-18-08  new iPhone icon
Woah, it's been 3 years since the last news update! Fuzzysquid now has a webclips icon for your iPhone! It'll automagically show up when you add FS to your home screen. Atom and RSS feeds have been available for a few years now, but I never made special mention of it.

1-14-05  LJ images
Since it seems to be popular, and it's been linked in a lot of different places besides here, I've decided to post the LJ Images page. At least in the news, at least for now. It's also getting some Google ads because you LiveJournal people are sucking up all my bandwidth (35% for that one page!)

4-02-04  FURL
Check out what I've been browsing: FURL.net bookmark archive. Not much commentary, relevance, or sequitur—but it's what's keeping this blog from turning into a meme dumpster.



  1. TONMO - The Octopus News Magazine Online. Invaluable.
  2. Angrywhale - Meet Leonard. He's an angry sort of whale.
  3. The Squid Blog - From the Laughing Squid people.


  4. Moxyberry - Where the cousin is at. Her bookmarks here.
  5. Cranky User - Brian's bookmarks. Updated, unlike his site.
  6. Rosenstock - Her other ride is your mom.
  7. Lauren - Wet Hot Singaporean Blogging.
  8. Universal Donor - Like the prime number shitting bear, but with terrible back pain.
  9. Olivia - Who receives special dispensation from our usual policies.
BLAG  read the archive

Thursday, August 31, 2006
dannyboy 5:18 PM (5)



Megatron looks weird dude. Next thing you know they're gonna screw up the Dinobots.


Quoting Even Steven "Transformers: The Movie,' that was my sh--." "It was that and Yogi Bear." - Real nice considering that you were only a baby when it came out.


yeah, thus far I have barely seen any positive posts about this movie. They're fucking everything up. I don't understand why they couldn't keep the same designs...what's wrong with that?

Megatron looks retarded.

You just have to go into the movie pretending it's not based off anything.


All I know is that if there's no "ch-ch-ch-ch" sound when they transform, there will be hell to pay.


Bay will probably fuck that up too... I mean "update" it.


Fuck you Michael Bay! Megatron is a GUN god damnit! They made Bumblebee a CAMARO!!?@ Guh! Buh! Wuh!! And where the hell is Soundwave?!

Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Malb 5:27 PM (2)



I had a dream last night that I bought a hoverboard. It had the potential to be the most awesome dream ever but my stupid brain wanted it to be realistic, and the only experience it could draw from was the one time I tried to skateboard.



I was emailed the following:

The Nike McFly commercial was created by Robert Ryang, an award-winning New York film editor, he's even edited a Spike Lee commercial before.



(thanks AC)


Great Scott!!

Sunday, August 27, 2006
dannyboy 10:28 PM (0)



OH MY GOD. I just put this into my furl page, but I am compelled to post it here: for your next BLT, make the mayonnaise with bacon fat! It had not even occurred to me that such a beautiful thing could exist! I am having this next weekend with a bacon mary (bloody mary with bacon instead of celery) for brunch. And don't forget to use heirloom tomatoes, or else you might as well just forget the whole thing.

dannyboy 1:21 PM (0)


I have decided to invent a new proverb: "Beware seed supply stores that claim to only sell hens, and not roosters; for you will learn to get up at 5am."

Thursday, August 24, 2006
dannyboy 11:14 PM (1)



seriously, stop using big words, it's pissing me off!


Look, a lot of that last post was... me being over-stimulated. I love animals, almost as much as I love to eat them, and I certainly don't think being cruel to them is acceptable. Perhaps this is just the cognitive dissonance speaking, but I think true cruelty is its own end—I just want to eat. If I could only eat free-range, organic, family farm food, I would. It tastes better. And if the whole NASA grow meat in a petri dish thing pans out, great, I'm there. What I'm not interested in, is denying any aspect of my carnality as a means of enlightenment. And there's just something so puritanically presumptuous in declaring that you no longer need to experience anything new, because you've got it all figured out already.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006
dannyboy 10:34 PM (2)



Now I wish I had tried it when I had a chance in Greece...maybe one day. Until then I'll experience a flavor burst with Kraft Mac n Cheese!


I am a vegetarian not because I love animals - it's because I hate plants.

(No, I'm not a vegetarian but if I were, that would be my rationale.)


I began writing, several times, about the fois gras ban that went into effect yesterday in Chicago (a similar ban in California, with provisions, is set to begin in 2012). I scrapped them all because I was trying to be clever (I did research! I had citations! Footnotes!!) or funny, and as often is the case, my attempts at both fell short—despite a brilliant if-I-do-say-so-myself allusion of my culinary outrage to the Pro Choice movement. Perhaps this website will one day have DVD extras where you can see all the deleted scenes that fell to the editing room floor. Order now!

Anycrap, I LIKE fois gras. If you've never had it, imagine a delicate piece of creamy deliciousness that sublimates directly to idea as soon as it hits your tongue. You don't even have to swallow, you just absorb. If you could eat the best dreams you've ever had (and they were all made of duck liver) that's what it would be like.

The animal rights terrorists say that most people who learn how it's produced never eat it again. Uhm, no. I am okay with the gavage, just as I am ok with the fact that we raise pigs, who are as smart as dogs, only to kill them for my pleasure. And it is for my pleasure. I don't NEED to eat pork; I LIKE to eat pork. So it is with fois gras. I have no delusions about being an omnivore. Animals die that I might live (well).

But whereas factory-farmed pork (and beef, and poultry, and basically everything else you & I eat that was once a cute baby made of meat) is truly hell on earth, my precious fois gras ducks are happily free range until the last two weeks of their lives. And in the more flippant versions of this post, this is where I would say I should be so lucky to spend the last two weeks of my life doing nothing but eating and waiting to eat.

Nature is cruel, and to excuse ourselves from the continuum, as if we are set apart by God, is rather self-important. Lions tear their quarry limb from limb. Snakes, on a plane or not, swallow their prey whole. Is being digested alive cruel? Maybe. These creatures kill to eat, yet we are not even unique in the animal world, in our capacity to effect the suffering of others solely for amusement.

I guess what I'm saying is, if I am to go to fuzzy animal hell, it will not be because I eat a few ounces of fois gras a year. And you're ALL coming with me. Vegans go to their own special veggie hell, for eating our rainforests and being insufferable, self-righteous whiners.

Thursday, August 17, 2006
dannyboy 3:28 PM (2)



I imagine this hippo making a noise that sounds sort of like "hrrrump rumprumprump" as it waddles its way across the table. Straight into your mouth. hrump hrump munch.


that's what you bought 50324987 of? dope. hella dope.



My happy hippos have arrived!!

Friday, August 11, 2006
dannyboy 1:27 PM (0)



I am so glad Sam bought me that sword.

Thursday, August 10, 2006
dannyboy 6:07 PM (2)



I like this idea. From now on, two lines at the airport: Coward and No Coward.

"Cowards can get all the screening they feel is needed. The rest of us can just take the risk."


An icicle is the perfect murder weapon.


And how the fuck can you ban a PHASE OF MATTER? I mean, is it ok if I freeze my liquids into solids before I board? Did I miss the memo about how we've eliminated all gaseous threats to our freedom? Sigh. Whatever. I'm done. You can go back to being elevated severely afraid now.

dannyboy 12:15 PM (2)


What do you mean?? All hail Supreme leader Bush for making the world safe from the fascist Muslim regime! Thank god you're hear to save us from what you've created.

In other news, I wish we'd build a wall around the middle east and lets them just kill each other.. anyone who wants out can leave, but I'm tired of this my land/holy land/missiles crap.


Well one of the (many) problems with your solution is that "anyone who wants to leave" will be 99% of the population, and where the fuck are they going to go? What country is going to let them in?


Well, once again, I hate the world and everyone in it. You can read why here, as I'm too angry to compose anything intelligible. I have a 6am flight Monday, that I will have to arrive at 3am for. I wish an asteroid would just come and end all our misery already.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006
dannyboy 4:50 PM (1)



But it's sooooo tasty!! I could drink them all day!


PSA: Bubble tea is made of people!! PEOPLE!!! high calorie stuff. Apparently, tapioca bubbles are 15 calories each; with an average drink containing about 30 bubbles, that's 450 calories for the bubbles alone! Figure in all the sugar, milk, juice, whatevs, and you get... diabetes, basically.

Sunday, August 06, 2006
dannyboy 9:46 PM (0)



Our temporary dog doesn't like beer, but he likes port?

Friday, August 04, 2006
rurouni 4:11 AM (1)



"On a side note, gonorrhea looks kind of cute!"

That's what she said! WOO!


Fuzzysquid infringement?! You be the judge. http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/plush/6708/images/774/ On a side note, gonorrhea looks kind of cute!

Thursday, August 03, 2006
dannyboy 2:35 PM (0)



Last night I dreamed about personal conflicts. My friend B. was driving her BMW down a street undergoing heavy construction, and I guess she didn't see the giant yellow bulldozer and ran into it. She might have been drunk. This caused a rift in our friendship for some reason, which we were only able to heal later on by going on a diving expedition to an underwater archeological site. Which, as it turns out, had been looted since she was last there.

I also dreamed that two of my three roommates who had been living with me in my childhood home, had decided to leave and were sneaking away on scooters. I thought about stopping them but in the end was resigned to let them pursue their own joy.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006
dannyboy 12:17 PM (0)



dkuo: MEAT CAKE!
mng168: haha
mng168: i can make a better meat cake
dkuo: really?
dkuo: make me one!
mng168: actually that's pretty neat
dkuo: I want meatloaf!
mng168: haha
mng168: H. makes a good meatloaf
mng168: i don't know why i remember that
dkuo: she's never made ME any meatloaf
dkuo: bitch
mng168: haha
mng168: so
mng168: her mom wants to open a bakery
mng168: and she wants me to manage it
dkuo: what kind of bakery?
dkuo: an erotic bakery?
mng168: haha no
mng168: i don't know yet
mng168: i'm going to meet with her mom on friday
mng168: !!
mng168: funn
dkuo: I will buy your sexy cakes

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