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As with a low sucking sound it slowly disappeared again, Starbuck still gazing at the agitated waters where it had sunk, with a wild voice exclaimed—“Almost rather I had seen Moby Dick and fought him, than to have seen thee, thou white ghost!”
      “What was it, Sir?” said Flask.
      “The great live squid, which, they say, few whale-ships ever beheld and returned to their ports to tell of it.”

Moby-Dick, 1851


3-17-09  No one reads this column
Guys, FURL sucks. It has sucked for years, and I'm sorry I've been using it. I have switched over to delicious; I would have done this much sooner, but they made it really difficult the last time I tried.

4-21-08  Archives
Uhmm, apparently archives haven't really been working since late 2006. THANX for the heads up guys! They are temporarily fixed, and will stay temporarily fixed until I migrate to new software/layout. I have said some hilarious things in the last 7 years, that future generations will feel lucky I preserved. Go check them out.

1-18-08  new iPhone icon
Woah, it's been 3 years since the last news update! Fuzzysquid now has a webclips icon for your iPhone! It'll automagically show up when you add FS to your home screen. Atom and RSS feeds have been available for a few years now, but I never made special mention of it.

1-14-05  LJ images
Since it seems to be popular, and it's been linked in a lot of different places besides here, I've decided to post the LJ Images page. At least in the news, at least for now. It's also getting some Google ads because you LiveJournal people are sucking up all my bandwidth (35% for that one page!)

4-02-04  FURL
Check out what I've been browsing: FURL.net bookmark archive. Not much commentary, relevance, or sequitur—but it's what's keeping this blog from turning into a meme dumpster.



  1. TONMO - The Octopus News Magazine Online. Invaluable.
  2. Angrywhale - Meet Leonard. He's an angry sort of whale.
  3. The Squid Blog - From the Laughing Squid people.


  4. Moxyberry - Where the cousin is at. Her bookmarks here.
  5. Cranky User - Brian's bookmarks. Updated, unlike his site.
  6. Rosenstock - Her other ride is your mom.
  7. Lauren - Wet Hot Singaporean Blogging.
  8. Universal Donor - Like the prime number shitting bear, but with terrible back pain.
  9. Olivia - Who receives special dispensation from our usual policies.
BLAG  read the archive

Sunday, February 26, 2006
J.Ro 5:14 PM (6)



Whatevs. Wake me up when they mention me in Teen Beat.


I'm so confused by this post.


Fuzzysquid, the LJ Images page specifically, was mentioned in Jane magazine.

This has increased daily hits on that page by maybe a few hundred, which just goes to prove what I've known all along--print sucks.


did you custom write that LJ thing? I thought it was just something you downloaded. Why did it attract so much attention?


Nope, the php script was written by a guy named Scott Adcott, who is linked on that page.

There are many websites that host a version of it; mine comes up in the top two or three in google for some reason, so it gets a lot of hits.


you should post more so people have something to read!!


This is Dan here, OMG! I am totally in Sassy, I mean Jane Magazine this month! Whatevs that it's just a mention of the LJ images page. I totally love girl's fashion magazines. LOL, ROTFL!

Saturday, February 25, 2006
dannyboy 11:00 AM (0)



Someone recently posted this anonymous comment to my Cape Codder rant:

"Only losers call them Cape Codders. Same losers that order a Cuba Libre and leave a shitty tip."

I felt this deserved a more public response than being buried in the comments: Perhaps the reason why they're leaving you shitty tips is because you're a shitty bartender who doesn't know the difference between a rum & coke, and a Cuba Libre.

To start another rant, it's been ridiculously hard to get a proper drink in this town. Look, I'm good at my job. If my job was to make and serve drinks, I would make damn well sure I knew what I was doing. If you learn how to make a good martini and a good manhattan, you're already 2/3rd's of the way there. And goddamnit no, when I order a martini, don't bring me a vodka martini unless I ask for one. You people are the gatekeepers! You hold the keys to the kingdom! It is your duty to harass people who think daiquiris are supposed to be frozen, and make sure there's an ample supply of REAL preserved cherries behind the bar.

Friday, February 24, 2006
tangerinetang 1:16 PM (0)



Hi. I'm here. I did it. Please don't send me anymore pictures of feet sandwiches. ed. [ NSFW or Lunch ]

Friday, February 17, 2006
dannyboy 7:35 PM (1)



Do I still have posting capabilities?


A bit late for the big Vday, but friends, Cephalopods Need Love Too. I hope everyone got some wet, squishy love this week.
( via Brian, who forgets he has posting privileges. )

Sunday, February 12, 2006
dannyboy 12:04 PM (2)



DJ has lost it, not quite as hot as I remember when I was 13.


I think it would be terrible if we all retained the same taste we had when we were 13. Well, most of us.


dkuo: holy hell, stephanie tanner got HOT
dkuo: read that article
dkuo: the olsen twins, john stamos and bob sagat had an intervention for her
dkuo: jesus
crankyuser: i think i saw that on an episode once
dkuo: I want john stamos & bob sagat at MY intervention!
crankyuser: that second picture is sorta... scarlett ish?
dkuo: except, pretty?
crankyuser: right
crankyuser: "Two years ago, bored and unemployed, the former child star began experimenting with drugs as a way to pass the time."
crankyuser: man i'm bored
crankyuser: time for some meth
dkuo: I mean, can you imagine this guy sitting you down and telling you that you have an unhealthy lifestyle

Friday, February 10, 2006
dannyboy 9:55 AM (4)



mng168: awww
mng168: he's sooo cute
dkuo: what! no way. yesterday you said he is something that fell off an old saggy person
mng168: nooo he's cute
mng168: he doesn't look that saggy
dkuo: here, I'm going to photoshop him so he looks less ugly


I agree with Dan, you seen one, you seen them all. They don't become dicernable for a few months.


I don't know. Maybe 'cos it just came out, but it doesn't seem like an asian baby.


Uhh... that's because he's only half-asian? And he looks pretty much like his dad.



mng168: yeah you have to see your baby nephew
mng168: do you have pics???
dkuo: nope, not yet
dkuo: you've seen one baby, you've seen them all
dkuo: they are small and wrinkled
mng168: haha
dkuo: like little pink raisins
mng168: ew
mng168: haha just kidding
mng168: i guess babies are cute
dkuo: newborns are like little aliens
dkuo: they're gross
dkuo: it takes a few months before they start looking ok
mng168: yeah they look like something that fell off a droopy old person
mng168: that's so mean
mng168: gotta run
mng168: don't tell anyone what i said about the babies

Tuesday, February 07, 2006
dannyboy 4:20 PM (2)



the dollar has gone down so much compared to the Won in Korea. It's sad. It's dropped over 20% in the past 3 years. I could have made some money if I had invested.


I just started to play with this FX "game", which is really a demo of thier currency trading tool.

Surprisingly, the app doesn't suck balls.


I was just about to order some hipster karma from the internets, when I saw just how much more expensive it is as compared with the genuine, evil corporation version. Brian was quick to point out that it's listed in Canadian dollars, "which is like, 37 cents."

It is here that I will spare you my lengthy leftist polemic, and simply point out that USD = CDN. That's right Virginia, as of this writing, the greenback is trading against the, uh, maple rag? at practically 1:1


Monday, February 06, 2006
dannyboy 8:23 AM (3)



Send me pictures, Asian babies are the cutest.


Jake is half-asian. Annie is in the hospital until tomorrow., I think she's going to send them out when she gets home.


gadzooks!! you're an uncle.


Well, I'll be a monkey's newborn baby's uncle. Jake was born today at 10 am EST, and is 7lbs. or so. Something like that. You know. Babies.

Sunday, February 05, 2006
dannyboy 9:54 PM (0)



"Those who restrain desire, do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained."

- William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

Friday, February 03, 2006
dannyboy 8:57 PM (5)



I was surprised that Smirnoff won the NYT taste test too (and was kind of surprised that they didn't test Stoli.) Maybe I haven't had it in a long time but it sounds like it's surprisingly good. Ketel One + soda + lime has been gaining some traction among some of my friends...


Vodka sodas are a good candidate for flavored vodkas. That's why I keep a bottle of Stoli Orange in the freezer.

Stoli has come in the top 3 in various tasting contests, when it's part of the running. There seems to be a wide variation in ranking between years, and I can't imagine that there's any significant variation within each batch, so the good vodkas must be pretty close. Which is unsurprising as vodka is by definition without any taste.


Yes, it's true: vodka really doesn't taste like anything. I'd describe the flavor as burning :)


I had stoli vanilla and coke today. It was pretty sweet, just like vanilla coke...but I also found after several of those, my bowling score dropped about 50%.


oooohhhhh, to much vodka last night. To much tasy tasty vodka.


Well, spurred by Jennie's comment to the previous post, I just did a quick informal vodka tasting. All were drunk neat. Of the 5 brands I happen to have in the house, I'd rate them thusly:

1. Origine (French)  Hm.
1. Smirnoff (American)  !
3. Absolut (Swedish)  Bleh.
4. Monopolowa (Austrian)  Ugh!

5. Gordon's*

I'm pretty surprised that the cheap bottle of Smirnoff tied with the soi-dissant "ultra premium" Origine (which I've not tried before, and likely won't get again). Monopolowa, which I didn't like, scored the highest in a 2003 contest, tying it for first place with Stoli. Surprised again. Will need to do a double blind next time. Unfortunately, I don't have any non-flavoured Stolichnaya or Ketel One on hand, which is what I usually drink at home, so no baseline. Must revisit soon.

Whew. I'm exhausted. Time for a martini.

*I didn't actually drink this; no one should. We keep it in the first aid kit.

dannyboy 4:31 PM (2)


oh no, i usually call it a stoli cranberry...


a) I forgive you
b) I'm a Stoli drinker too (baseline), and I'm amazed that Smirnoff won that NYTimes taste test. I'll have to try it sometime.
c) Grey Goose isn't that great. It just isn't.


New pet peeve: when someone orders a "vodka cranberry." No. NO! The drink you are asking for is called a Cape Codder, it is a good drink, and you will order it as such. If you're not secure enough to call it that, you don't deserve to have one. It's like asking for "peach schnapps & OJ"—complete and total denial.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006
dannyboy 11:38 AM (1)



Out of respect for Marie, I've omitted the parts of the conversation where I commented on her predilection for eating giant steaming bowls of dick.

Wuv yoo!


dkuo: I want to start a band called Sexy Cakes
mng168: k
mng168: can i be in it
dkuo: what can you play
mng168: i can sing
dkuo: O RLY
mng168: i had a penis cake for my party
dkuo: You're always having penis cakes
mng168: yeah i can sing
mng168: let me sing!

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