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As with a low sucking sound it slowly disappeared again, Starbuck still gazing at the agitated waters where it had sunk, with a wild voice exclaimed—“Almost rather I had seen Moby Dick and fought him, than to have seen thee, thou white ghost!”
      “What was it, Sir?” said Flask.
      “The great live squid, which, they say, few whale-ships ever beheld and returned to their ports to tell of it.”

Moby-Dick, 1851


3-17-09  No one reads this column
Guys, FURL sucks. It has sucked for years, and I'm sorry I've been using it. I have switched over to delicious; I would have done this much sooner, but they made it really difficult the last time I tried.

4-21-08  Archives
Uhmm, apparently archives haven't really been working since late 2006. THANX for the heads up guys! They are temporarily fixed, and will stay temporarily fixed until I migrate to new software/layout. I have said some hilarious things in the last 7 years, that future generations will feel lucky I preserved. Go check them out.

1-18-08  new iPhone icon
Woah, it's been 3 years since the last news update! Fuzzysquid now has a webclips icon for your iPhone! It'll automagically show up when you add FS to your home screen. Atom and RSS feeds have been available for a few years now, but I never made special mention of it.

1-14-05  LJ images
Since it seems to be popular, and it's been linked in a lot of different places besides here, I've decided to post the LJ Images page. At least in the news, at least for now. It's also getting some Google ads because you LiveJournal people are sucking up all my bandwidth (35% for that one page!)

4-02-04  FURL
Check out what I've been browsing: FURL.net bookmark archive. Not much commentary, relevance, or sequitur—but it's what's keeping this blog from turning into a meme dumpster.



  1. TONMO - The Octopus News Magazine Online. Invaluable.
  2. Angrywhale - Meet Leonard. He's an angry sort of whale.
  3. The Squid Blog - From the Laughing Squid people.


  4. Moxyberry - Where the cousin is at. Her bookmarks here.
  5. Cranky User - Brian's bookmarks. Updated, unlike his site.
  6. Rosenstock - Her other ride is your mom.
  7. Lauren - Wet Hot Singaporean Blogging.
  8. Universal Donor - Like the prime number shitting bear, but with terrible back pain.
  9. Olivia - Who receives special dispensation from our usual policies.
BLAG  read the archive

Tuesday, November 29, 2005
dannyboy 8:12 PM (2)



Christ, my tires were half the recommended pressure. HALF. This explains a lot.


TOLD YOU. Check at least monthly. I try to do it every 2 weeks.


PSA, AUTOMOTIVE: Everyone go check the pressure in your tires right now. Er, well, unless you've been driving, in which case, let the tires cool so you're taking a cold pressure. A few hours should do, overnight is better. If they need to be filled, and no doubt they will, drive to the closest gas station (less than 1 mile pls.) and fill to the recommended psi in your manual. I run ~1 psi over (it improves gas mileage at the expense of comfort); running less than recommended isn't, er, recommended. I hadn't checked my tires since I bought the car more than 5 months ago for some insane reason, and I was way low and off balanced. The first tankful after saw a 6 mpg improvement. So go get yourself a decent pressure gauge (as the gas stations' are usually out of whack) and check at least every month. And do your spare while you're at it. Improperly inflated tires will cost you at the pump, as well as shorten the life of your tires, possibly causing them to fail, and in extreme cases, savagely murder your parents and EAT YOUR CHILDREN.

dannyboy 10:48 AM (0)


Ahhh. I love Family Guy. Need something to cheer you up?

Sunday, November 27, 2005
dannyboy 7:02 PM (0)




The turducken arrived frozen in carbonite

*waves wing* "DADDY!"

Anal probing

S. soils himself

Getting the dog drunk

More animal abuse

dannyboy 5:17 PM (0)


Yesterday morning I almost drove off a cliff to my fiery doom, off highway 1 in Marin. Twice. :D Since some of you have asked, here are photos of the car. Got it about 5 months ago, haven't gotten around to taking photos until today.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005
dannyboy 10:55 PM (5)



We made an osturduckenen again this year. It looks really good. I can't wait to sink my teeth into it.


WOAH. You stuffed a turducken into an... ostrich?! I think I just crapped my pants.


It gets better. Sorry I did not explain. Yes, osturduckenen = ostrich + turducken + hen. Plus all the stuffing of course. I use three kinds. It takes awhile to prepare. But I actually like that part. When they started selling turduckens by mailorder, that destroyed the whole turducken appeal for me.


Ignoring for the moment how one would even source a whole ostrich, how does a stuffed ostrich even FIT into your oven!



Also, we are quickly getting into stuffed camel territory... apocryphally delicious!



Turkey + Chicken + Duck = Fat Happy Daniel

Human + Human + Human = Fat Happy Dinosaur

Horse + Wallaby + Gerbil = ??

The turducken arrived at the office this morning, in a frozen styrofoam coffin, causing lots of great design work to be done the rest of the day.

Monday, November 21, 2005
dannyboy 4:28 PM (0)



peeingdog: why does Death mock me so
peeingdog: there is a piece of seared ahi from lunch
peeingdog: sitting on out in the kitchen
scottsmig: EAT IT
peeingdog: it's a good 4 hours old now
scottsmig: oh, thats fine
peeingdog: I'm not taking any chances on the eve of the biggest eating holiday of the year
scottsmig: nah man
scottsmig: its fine
peeingdog: damnit
peeingdog: stop trying to make me sick
scottsmig: im not...
scottsmig: i want you to enjoy a delicious piece of tuna
peeingdog: it was so good
peeingdog: like eating a puff of air
peeingdog: or a dream
scottsmig: see? dreams won't make you violently ill

dannyboy 1:18 AM (3)


To potential car purchasers: The owner of this car is extemely responsible and takes good care of it.


Yeah right! I could no more sell this car than I could sell my firstborn child! She's a keeper. Well, unless I lose the garage or steal a Lotus, that is...


Also, my mom thinks my car is pretty. :D



I spent most of Saturday scrubbing and degreasing the engine bay of my car. Yes, I know that I am a madman, but now it's clean enough to eat off of. Er, well, to cook off of, anyway.

Sunday, November 20, 2005
dannyboy 5:55 PM (0)




I've been eating these things like crazy. At first they were kind of gross but they've been growing on me. Like mold. I've had the original chocolate, and now the cheese and 'mixed fruit' flavors. Now to await the US arrival of the 'vegetable' flavor.

Briefly: Calorie Mate is a Japanese snack/health food, made by a big scary pharmaceutical company, the same people who brought us Pocari Sweat. Hideo Kojima, who is completely insane, featured it in his game, Metal Gear Solid 3, in which a US Army Special Forces operative in 1964 infiltrates the Soviet Union and finds Japanese health food from the mid-1990s scattered all about the jungle. Also, Kiefer Sutherland pimps it in Japan.

Friday, November 18, 2005
dannyboy 9:29 AM (0)



I just saw a glimpse into my future, and in it I die from food poisoning. It's remarkable how often random people say to me, "no, don't eat it!" WELL, FU DEATH, not today! I will NOT be putting 4 day old lox on my bagel! Despite how badly I want to.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005
dannyboy 6:05 PM (1)



Woo! That's pretty cool. You are totally on teh intarweb!


Brian points out that my article on digital typography has been, uh, delicious-ed. Wow, I guess this thing is on.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005
J.Ro 11:48 PM (1)



"California: Give In"

I did!



Monday, November 14, 2005
dannyboy 3:10 PM (0)



scottsmig: shit its comcastic! here
peeingdog: I mean, we live in one of the most technologically advanced cities of one of the richest countries in the world scott
scottsmig: ha!
peeingdog: my robot wife should be giving me a blowjob right now
scottsmig: tell that to the dude shitting in front of my house

Thursday, November 10, 2005
dannyboy 10:28 AM (2)



What about waiting for adult swin on the pool?


Just treat the kids as an obstacle course. Much more challenging laps.


I think I'll look back at my twenties and decide that a milestone in my journey to becoming an adult was when I started making sure I had room for dessert, even during lunchtime.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005
dannyboy 2:20 PM (1)



The problem is more in how browsers are not good writing environments. Gmail autosave helps but overall it's still subpar.


May the developer that decided to map the delete key to the back browser button in Firefox be cast down to the ring of hell wherein one types emails only to have them deleted just before one can hit send, for all of eternity.

Monday, November 07, 2005
dannyboy 10:24 AM (0)



My intention this morning was to write a post on an article I read in the WSJ a few months ago, about an editor's (soi-disant) controversial theory that aging non-vintage champagne will improve its taste significantly—I had a chance to verify this recently, as I discovered a bottle of very dusty, very cheap bubbly in the back of a cabinet at work. So the point isn't that I actually did find the brand's usual harshness to have mellowed quite a bit after 2+ years, but that I can't link to the stupid article because everything older than one week costs $5. WTF. I know a lot of people complain about this model (typically in regard to the NYTimes), but I will go ahead and beat on the horse (in a loud, obnoxious ode to Cory Doctorow):

Way to make sure your content is unsearchable, buried and lost to time. They've got it all backwards. People pay for news. The current articles should cost money, because people who need the news immediately (i.e., subscribers to the paper version of the, uh, paper) will pay for currency. That's why yesterday's paper is today's fishwrap. After a day, articles should be released into the wild, so it can be referenced into posterity. I mean, that's what I'd do if I wanted money AND for my content to be a part of the historical record.

So in conclusion, I wish I was drunk on cheap champagne right now.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005
dannyboy 9:38 AM (1)



My favorite model, is the one with the Celtic cross "Tramp Stamp."


I was watching public access the other night and a show called Vegan Vixens came on. Yes, it's a bunch of vegan models* talking about how they totally don't eat meat because it's morally wrong. It was an amazing half hour, but the best part was when one of the models, wearing a "cruelty-free" t-shirt of course, was explaining how she only uses makeup that hasn't been tested on animals. And then she proceeds to PUT BLUSH ON HER CAT. Because her cat likes to be pretty too.

*Unsurprising, as you all know I consider veganism to be an eating disorder. I am allowed this sweeping generalization because all the vegans I've had personal interactions with, including the important subset of vegan models, have ALL had control/body issues. I fear no reprisal! What are you going to do! Write me an angry email? Not with your generalised lack of energy and body mass you're not!! HA!

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