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As with a low sucking sound it slowly disappeared again, Starbuck still gazing at the agitated waters where it had sunk, with a wild voice exclaimed—“Almost rather I had seen Moby Dick and fought him, than to have seen thee, thou white ghost!”
      “What was it, Sir?” said Flask.
      “The great live squid, which, they say, few whale-ships ever beheld and returned to their ports to tell of it.”

Moby-Dick, 1851


3-17-09  No one reads this column
Guys, FURL sucks. It has sucked for years, and I'm sorry I've been using it. I have switched over to delicious; I would have done this much sooner, but they made it really difficult the last time I tried.

4-21-08  Archives
Uhmm, apparently archives haven't really been working since late 2006. THANX for the heads up guys! They are temporarily fixed, and will stay temporarily fixed until I migrate to new software/layout. I have said some hilarious things in the last 7 years, that future generations will feel lucky I preserved. Go check them out.

1-18-08  new iPhone icon
Woah, it's been 3 years since the last news update! Fuzzysquid now has a webclips icon for your iPhone! It'll automagically show up when you add FS to your home screen. Atom and RSS feeds have been available for a few years now, but I never made special mention of it.

1-14-05  LJ images
Since it seems to be popular, and it's been linked in a lot of different places besides here, I've decided to post the LJ Images page. At least in the news, at least for now. It's also getting some Google ads because you LiveJournal people are sucking up all my bandwidth (35% for that one page!)

4-02-04  FURL
Check out what I've been browsing: FURL.net bookmark archive. Not much commentary, relevance, or sequitur—but it's what's keeping this blog from turning into a meme dumpster.



  1. TONMO - The Octopus News Magazine Online. Invaluable.
  2. Angrywhale - Meet Leonard. He's an angry sort of whale.
  3. The Squid Blog - From the Laughing Squid people.


  4. Moxyberry - Where the cousin is at. Her bookmarks here.
  5. Cranky User - Brian's bookmarks. Updated, unlike his site.
  6. Rosenstock - Her other ride is your mom.
  7. Lauren - Wet Hot Singaporean Blogging.
  8. Universal Donor - Like the prime number shitting bear, but with terrible back pain.
  9. Olivia - Who receives special dispensation from our usual policies.
BLAG  read the archive

Wednesday, August 31, 2005
dannyboy 11:06 AM (0)



dkuo: did you go to the hipster sex shoppes or like the real ones in astoria
mng168: i went to the ones in the west village
mng168: i just got my package from my online order too
mng168: my party is complete
dkuo: I bet it is...
mng168: actually i think i may have gone a little overboard
mng168: i have way too much penis in my possession right now

Tuesday, August 30, 2005
dannyboy 1:18 PM (4)



not to mention that there's no lcd. wait for the iphone.


Those earphone do suck when people blast them. My officemate does that as well... also... no one comments much anymore. Is it from the new system?


I hope it's not the new system, and it's just because people hate me.


I have doubts about the iTunes phone. I don't think it'll be any good unless Apple designed it and are only having Motorola manufacture it, and even then there are business issues with the wireless carriers that make me think it will be stillborn.

Which is unfortunate, because the world really needs a phone that doesn't suck big hairy donkey balls.


I just discovered a reason not to own an iPod Shuffle: the guy who sits next to me in the office has one, and he listens to it on his earphones. He has the volume turned up so high, the sound leaking out is louder than the volume at which I normally listen to music on free speakers. And because the Shuffle only holds 512 MB, I've been hearing the same songs over and over again for the last two weeks. Perhaps when I get back from vacation he will have updated his playlist...

Monday, August 29, 2005
dannyboy 11:25 AM (0)



"Veggie dogs are like buying a Real Doll of your dead wife."

Sunday, August 28, 2005
dannyboy 11:37 PM (0)



I just watched Million Dollar Baby, and I feel manipulated.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005
dannyboy 4:12 PM (7)



Did you see that Op-Ed in the NYTimes a week ago about abolishing tipping? It prompted some rather interesting letters to the paper.


I just found the article in the archive, but can't read it unless I pay them $3. Bah.

I've read the responses though... interesting. I'm split. On the one hand, rewarding good performance seems pretty basic, and it works. (Though what appeals to me more, is the ability to punish poor performance.)



And here is an example of excellent service that deserves a tip.


something to note...the est and west coast is totally different with wages! If anything, west coast deserves less tips. They start at normal minimum wage. My friend makes 7 something an hour as a waiter...as opposed to East coast where they make like 2 something. Point being, people need to shut it. I'm in total agreement here...if you work at Dunkin Donuts, you don't get a tip. Also agree that you don't deserve or are entitled to a tip, if you suck, you don't derserve 15%.

...and don't get my started on the places that auto add 18% for parties of 6 or more. People don't realize they don't have to pay the 18%. They can leave 0 tip if they want and just pay they check. That kind of arrogance really pisses me off.


when the post gets this long i start to think that comments should appear right under the toggle for it, and not after the post. after all, when you do turn it on you want to read it right there, right?


Fixed! But now I've noticed that Firefox "flashes" the text block whenever you hide/unhide the comment, whereas Safari and IE do not. Hrmm... any ideas?


I'm not sure what you mean by flashing. And if I weren't at work I might think of linking a dirty image.


There is a lull at work so I will pontificate about tipping and why the List of Places in San Francisco Where I'm Not Welcome grew last night.

Tipping is completely stupid. And I do it, where it is accepted practice, and in general I am generous--even when it's not particularly deserved. The only time I've left less than 15% at a table is when there was something grievously wrong with the service, and the last time I did that, I followed up with a 30 min. call to the manager. I typically give 18% for decent service and more than 20% when it's good. I understand that the waitstaff's wages are calculated to take into account their gratuities, and I know when they get tipped poorly they suffer in a very real way. Good. They are supposed to. Gratuity. You should know what this word means if you ever go into a service industry. Your income is directly proportional to how well you perform your job.

And that's my problem with people in general, how they feel entitled to what is essentially a gift. You know what? Really really good waiters, get really good tips. If you're shitty (and well I'll be damned, you are!) you ought to make a shitty wage.

BUT that whole scenario above, which I've talked about extensively in the past, doesn't even apply if you are not within a very narrow range of occupations. That is, tipping is for personal service. (GOOD personal service.) I was at the Only Decent Pizzeria in Northern California last night, where they are notorious for being complete assholes to everyone that walks in the door, to pick up a pie. This place doesn't have tables. And the guy behind the counter said to me as I pocketed my change "thanks for the no-tip." Now, can you imagine how absurd it would be if the guy working the register at McDonalds became indignant when no one tipped him? Or what if every time my manager came by with work, that is within my job description, that I am contractually paid to do, I pointed to the tip jar on my desk. The. Fuck. But somehow every fucking slacker jackass hipster with a shite job now has free reign to put out a tip jar. At least the beggars on the street know it for what it is: charity.

And the best part of it all, is that the tip jar hurts employees in the long run. If your job doesn't pay you a living wage, get a different job! By accepting a lower wage, and depending on tips to make up for it, you're lowering the market value for what you do, until the entire industry has to convert to a gratuity system--which is unsustainable as there is no personal service in standing behind the counter. I would rather pay twice as much for my food than be expected to give someone a bonus for just showing up to their job.

We've made too many compromises already, too many retreats! They put out tip jars at the movie theatre and we give in! They ask for tips at the bookstore and we give in! The line must be drawn HERE! This far and no further!!!! And I will make them pay for what they've done.

Friday, August 19, 2005
dannyboy 1:00 PM (1)




scottsmig: traffic is shitty in my hood
scottsmig: luckily i used my advanced knowledge of traffic patterns to avoid it
peeingdog: yeah, traffic is all fucked down here
peeingdog: the ONE day I drive to work something blows up
peeingdog: figures

Wednesday, August 17, 2005
dannyboy 2:42 PM (0)



The way to this man's heart is through my stomach. And that road is paved with cupcakes.
God I'm getting fat.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005
dannyboy 9:38 AM (1)



depends on how it's cooked. smoked salmon is usually slimy and gross, like lox.


How can smoked salmon be so disgusting, yet so delicious at the same time?

Monday, August 15, 2005
dannyboy 9:20 AM (1)



Hey, I've decided to remove the old commenting system--I know this new one isn't perfect, but having two little widgets up there bugs me.

You don't need a blogger account to post comments, and you can even still comment anonymously.


DREAMS: I had a dream about New York and it was cold. I hear it's actually pretty hot, but that doesn't make any sense. It's almost labor day! I had another dream in which myself and a ragtag team of unlikely heroes from work had saved the world from some disaster, can't really remember what and at the end one of the girls crawled into a burning car to die. I've also been having a lot of these Hollywood thriller type dreams, where someone for unexplained reasons decides to terrorize me. No, not like Islamic-terrorize, but like Convoluted plot-terrorize. I woke up screaming. And last night I dreamt about everyone I have ever known, and it made me sad.

Friday, August 12, 2005
dannyboy 9:43 AM (0)



I can't believe I've been here for 20 minutes and already I'm in a foul mood. I need to choose something else.

Monday, August 08, 2005
dannyboy 7:33 PM (0)




Sunday, August 07, 2005
dannyboy 11:15 PM (2)



Then would your dad be Tim Burton or Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka or Captain Jack Sparrow.


I don't even understand what you're saying to me, but you're harshing my mellow, so quit it.


Just saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Fun. Also, I wish Helena Bonham Carter was my mom. ♥
[ previously mentioned here ]

dannyboy 12:31 PM (1)


You know, martial arts is useful because your body doesn't count as a concealed weapon. Other than the clothes.


RANDOM THOUGHTS: I wanted to mention something yesterday about the 60 yr anniversary of Japan getting what they deserved, but I am afraid it will cause the Japanese to invade my blog and liberate it so that it may join their sphere of prosperity.

Friday night I dreamed about some really awful customer service, and it was so frustrating that I woke up kicking the covers. And then later that day pretty much the exact situation unraveled while I was out getting something at CompUSA for my trip this week (as there is no way in hell I'd shop there if I didn't need something immediately). Because although the salespeople could pause their conversations with the "person they are currently helping" long enough to tell me they couldn't help me, they could not however reach in behind the counter and hand me the thing I want to EXCHANGE MONEY FOR. So I waited for 10 minutes while they held their life-counseling sessions. When I got to the register, it rang up for quite a bit more than the price tag had claimed, and I asked what was going on. The adult-in-training told me there was a rebate, and I said FINE and he charged my card and I asked how I would be getting my rebate. He said it would print up a coupon that I'd mail in but huh, nothing's printing up, so I guess that's the real price. Look, the story just keeps going from here, so I'm just going to stop.

Friday, August 05, 2005
dannyboy 1:41 PM (0)



LUNCHTIME EPIPHANY: If the line at the restaurant consists mostly of hot skinny women, your meal is not going to be any good. Find the festively plump, for they are the gatekeepers.

Thursday, August 04, 2005
dannyboy 10:49 AM (5)



wtf, why isn't anyone using the new comments?

also, I have no idea who this 'Annie' person is, and neither do you. shh!


I like it. Would be nice to not need this extra page, though.


yeah, the problem lies with Blogger; the last time I considered using their commenting system, it was in such a crap state, I only had it up for an hour before tossing it.

I won't be fully satisfied with this until I figure out if/how to do inline comment inputing.


I like the Modest Mouse reference. It's surprising how they "made it big" with Good News for People Who Love Bad News when really, Moon and Antarctica is vastly superior.


Good News is ok, but yeah, Moon & Antarctica is like, one the the few perfect albums. It's one of the 5 I would bring to a desert island.


THE UNIVERSE IS SHAPED EXACTLY LIKE THE EARTH: If you go straight long enough you?ll end up where you were. I?m encountering people who remind me of me, or at least a younger me. It?s funny how you need to see things in other people before you recognize them in yourself. I think what I?m saying is, if you live long enough, you?ll eventually come back to yourself where you started, except you?ll be an old man meeting a young you. Oh and basically: if I only knew then, what I know now...

This post brought to you by the realization that I will soon be an uncle.

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