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As with a low sucking sound it slowly disappeared again, Starbuck still gazing at the agitated waters where it had sunk, with a wild voice exclaimed—“Almost rather I had seen Moby Dick and fought him, than to have seen thee, thou white ghost!”
      “What was it, Sir?” said Flask.
      “The great live squid, which, they say, few whale-ships ever beheld and returned to their ports to tell of it.”

Moby-Dick, 1851


3-17-09  No one reads this column
Guys, FURL sucks. It has sucked for years, and I'm sorry I've been using it. I have switched over to delicious; I would have done this much sooner, but they made it really difficult the last time I tried.

4-21-08  Archives
Uhmm, apparently archives haven't really been working since late 2006. THANX for the heads up guys! They are temporarily fixed, and will stay temporarily fixed until I migrate to new software/layout. I have said some hilarious things in the last 7 years, that future generations will feel lucky I preserved. Go check them out.

1-18-08  new iPhone icon
Woah, it's been 3 years since the last news update! Fuzzysquid now has a webclips icon for your iPhone! It'll automagically show up when you add FS to your home screen. Atom and RSS feeds have been available for a few years now, but I never made special mention of it.

1-14-05  LJ images
Since it seems to be popular, and it's been linked in a lot of different places besides here, I've decided to post the LJ Images page. At least in the news, at least for now. It's also getting some Google ads because you LiveJournal people are sucking up all my bandwidth (35% for that one page!)

4-02-04  FURL
Check out what I've been browsing: FURL.net bookmark archive. Not much commentary, relevance, or sequitur—but it's what's keeping this blog from turning into a meme dumpster.



  1. TONMO - The Octopus News Magazine Online. Invaluable.
  2. Angrywhale - Meet Leonard. He's an angry sort of whale.
  3. The Squid Blog - From the Laughing Squid people.


  4. Moxyberry - Where the cousin is at. Her bookmarks here.
  5. Cranky User - Brian's bookmarks. Updated, unlike his site.
  6. Rosenstock - Her other ride is your mom.
  7. Lauren - Wet Hot Singaporean Blogging.
  8. Universal Donor - Like the prime number shitting bear, but with terrible back pain.
  9. Olivia - Who receives special dispensation from our usual policies.
BLAG  read the archive

Saturday, April 30, 2005
dannyboy 2:21 PM (0)



GOD! I hate how all your clothes end up smelling like the hotel room.

Saturday, April 23, 2005
dannyboy 11:35 PM (0)



Dropping off the radar for a bit. See you when I get back.

dannyboy 12:13 AM (0)


And here's where I'm going to remind myself that just because a girl squeezes the lime in your vodka tonic before she brings it to you, doesn't make her a good woman. Maybe what I'm really saying is, one or two small acts of kindness only seems like a big deal because the rest of the time she's a harpy. Have I been so deprived of decency, for so long?

Friday, April 22, 2005
dannyboy 4:25 PM (0)



Good news everybody! The Sponge is back. And now you can get a beer can to bottle adapter from Grolsch: De Blikbeugel.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005
dannyboy 4:58 PM (0)



dkuo: I am having the weirdest mints. they are ricola, chewy, and contain a suspicious amount of dietary fiber
dkuo: and zero calories
dkuo: it's not about you! you think everything is about you!
dkuo: there is a warning on the box not to eat too many or I may experience "laxative effects"
Rockemstock: HAH
Rockemstock: Like olestra chips?
dkuo: except these are BREATH MINTS
dkuo: and have no calories! somehow!
Rockemstock: That sounds like they might be marketed towards anorexics and bullemics
dkuo: yeah XXXX grabbed a handful from me
Rockemstock: No seriously
dkuo: no, seriously.
dkuo: I think I'll have another
Rockemstock: Yeah, then go have some private time
Rockemstock: you're not obese anymore
Rockemstock: that was like 2 weeks ago

dannyboy 10:03 AM (0)



I've been thinking about selling my car (as it is insanely expensive to keep), and replacing it with the above. But yesterday as I was driving back from The Only Decent Pizzeria in all of Northern California, I almost get T-boned (and I do mean BONED) by this guy who didn't look both ways before turning. Luckily I did some James Bond style emergency maneuvering, that may have involved the e-brake, can't remember, reflexes too quick. And then it occurred to me that I wouldn't be able to do that in the '72 Alfa. And then it occurred to me that I probably wouldn't have been able to accelerate to the sort of speed I was traveling at right before my emergency slalom, so perhaps ABS and race-inspired handling aren't so necessary...

Monday, April 18, 2005
dannyboy 9:27 AM (0)



Dear Diary, last night I dreamed about how much fun hockey is, which is absurd because I am not white. Also, I just had the most amazing thing: imagine a croissant, except an entire loaf of it. Absolutely brilliant. Also, Ben Gibbard's voice is about 1 random play away from making me flip out and kill everyone I know.

Sunday, April 17, 2005
dannyboy 9:15 PM (0)



Seeing my grandfather in the nursing home is a profoundly sad event. Having my father tell me that he asks to go home, and that the best case scenario doesn't see him there for at least six more months, is heartbreaking. But today was worth it because I saw him smile and laugh for the first time since the stroke.

Saturday, April 16, 2005
dannyboy 9:21 PM (0)



Jennie's latest post reminds me of a girl I loved in high school—we could be summarized by what we listened to: she was Billie, I was Ella. The interesting bit (to me anyway, I?m sure all of you could care less) is that the opposite is now true. I'm listening to Porgy & Bess, and Ella sounds too perfect, too clean. Words like "ain?t" don't fit in her mouth.

People, listen to me: I am wise. PLEASE don?t wear cologne/perfume unless you know what you?re doing. I should not be able to smell you unless we are in such close proximity that we are physically touching. There are such things as hard and fast rules, and this is one of them.

Girls, listen to me: I am horny. Panties go on the OUTSIDE of your garter.

Friday, April 15, 2005
dannyboy 8:05 AM (0)



  1. Box seats at the opera, entire 05-06 season.
  2. Case Study Bed, queen + Aeron Chair, size B
  3. Apple 23" Cinema Display
  4. One (1) Hot Dog Cart
  5. 1333 and one third Choco Tacos
  6. Jane, twenty-four hours

Wednesday, April 13, 2005
dannyboy 9:34 PM (0)



Currently, the worst thing about being single is getting the 2005-2006 San Francisco Opera catalog in the mail and wanting to buy season tickets (for two).
add. oh, right, that and not being able to buy a house, ever.

Monday, April 11, 2005
dannyboy 12:58 PM (0)



I received fantastic news today. Terrifyingly good, in fact--so it turns out that I'm the picture of health. (In fact, I may be a little TOO healthy! I might have to start smoking!) The first blood test was a total fuck up. Which makes me damned lucky that I ended up being allergic to those pills. I'm also glad that I insisted on getting a second opinion rather than just getting a different prescription.

The moral of the story is, and I'm going to sound awfully repetitive here, you're in charge of your health, don't let other people fuck it up for you.

Now if you don't hear from me for a while, assume it is due to cardiac arrest from living off the fat of the land.

Friday, April 08, 2005
dannyboy 9:33 AM (0)



AN OPEN LETTER TO NO ONE IN PARTICULAR: Hi. I've been avoiding it all week, but it has now sunk in that I've lost that thing you gave me, which you bought in Cairo not knowing who you were buying it for, not knowing me yet. This has left me more upset than I had been willing to acknowledge. The $60 attached to it is inconsequential, and can be replaced. Tokens of past affection however... When I (thought) I had lost the ring J. gave me, I was angry at myself, but not sad. Because I knew she was still there, and would be. All this is to say, I am much more sentimental than I'd like to be.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005
dannyboy 11:54 AM (0)



I LIKE TO DRINK: I traded my old iPod today for: (1) Perrier Jouet Fleur '95, (1) Joseph Phelps Insignia '00, and (1) Franciscan Cab '02. I am slightly disappointed because I didn?t get the bottle of Dom '96 I wanted, so if anyone wants to buy my love, you know what to do.

Monday, April 04, 2005
dannyboy 4:11 PM (0)



BREVITY: Seems I am allergic to the pills, got a second opinion on the bigger issue, getting re-tested to see if there actually is a significant problem. And if so, new doctor recommends against taking any medication, and suggests getting tested once a year instead. No dietary changes necessary, possibly some exercise. The whole health system is fucked, I'm going home and eating a pound of bacon.
The End.

J.Ro 4:50 AM (0)


SQUID: Squid begin mating with a circling nuptial dance. Teams of squid revolve around across a `spawning bed' a 200 metres in diameter. At daybreak they begin having sex and continue all day long - they only take a break so the female can drive down and deposit eggs. When she returns to the circle, the two go at it again. As twilight falls, the pair go offshore to eat and rest. At the first sign of sunlight, they return to their spot and do it all over again. This routine can last up to two weeks, ensuring a healthy population of squid.

Sunday, April 03, 2005
dannyboy 10:50 PM (0)



Not to turn this into an exercise-diet-misery blog, but I went for a run in the Panhandle today, and made a satisfactory vegan dinner. Which was likely negated by the bottle of champagne, milano cookies, and two crumpets with almond butter & nutella I had afterwards. Sigh. Honestly, the (second...) principal joy I've had in my life the last few years is eating well--when I was younger I considered eating a chore. The irony is unpalatable.

Saturday, April 02, 2005
dannyboy 5:32 PM (0)



I went for a run on the beach today. It hurt. But it was pretty. Then I had a wholly unsatisfying vegan lunch, served to me by a surly hippie, who could probably sense I wasn't there for the right reasons. The good part of my life is pretty much over.

Friday, April 01, 2005
dannyboy 7:13 PM (0)



Well guys. I've had a good run. But it's over now. I just got back from the doctor. I had a blood test for diabetes because it runs in my family, and I got the results today. There is good news and bad news. I don't have diabetes. But I have what is analogous to high cholestrol (but with a different kind of fat--triglyceride). My doctor kept insisting that I must eat fast food and lots of it, and I think I've been to McDonald's once in the last year. Medical science can kiss my ass. So he tells me to stop eating red/fatty meat and reduce my intake of starches. And exercise! Bwah! I was about to say "the next thing you're going to tell me is to stop drinking!" but wisely decided to keep my mouth shut. And for a minute there I was actually considering getting up at the crack of dawn tomorrow for a jog and then rewarding myself with a nice big celery and parsnip smoothie but then he says "or I can give you some pills to take for a month and we'll see if you die."

I've said it before and I'll say it again, the more interaction I have with the health industry, the more convinced I am that no one knows a goddamned thing. It really didn't boost my confidence that when I went to the pharmacist she looked at my prescription and asked if I was sure it was right, as the dosage was all screwy.

And honestly, do I really need those last 10 years of my life? If you can even call not being able to continue my Sunday brunch routine of Champagne, bacon, and couch napping, "living."

Also, this is not an April Fool's joke, unless you consider my life to be God's little practical joke.

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