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As with a low sucking sound it slowly disappeared again, Starbuck still gazing at the agitated waters where it had sunk, with a wild voice exclaimed—“Almost rather I had seen Moby Dick and fought him, than to have seen thee, thou white ghost!”
      “What was it, Sir?” said Flask.
      “The great live squid, which, they say, few whale-ships ever beheld and returned to their ports to tell of it.”

Moby-Dick, 1851


3-17-09  No one reads this column
Guys, FURL sucks. It has sucked for years, and I'm sorry I've been using it. I have switched over to delicious; I would have done this much sooner, but they made it really difficult the last time I tried.

4-21-08  Archives
Uhmm, apparently archives haven't really been working since late 2006. THANX for the heads up guys! They are temporarily fixed, and will stay temporarily fixed until I migrate to new software/layout. I have said some hilarious things in the last 7 years, that future generations will feel lucky I preserved. Go check them out.

1-18-08  new iPhone icon
Woah, it's been 3 years since the last news update! Fuzzysquid now has a webclips icon for your iPhone! It'll automagically show up when you add FS to your home screen. Atom and RSS feeds have been available for a few years now, but I never made special mention of it.

1-14-05  LJ images
Since it seems to be popular, and it's been linked in a lot of different places besides here, I've decided to post the LJ Images page. At least in the news, at least for now. It's also getting some Google ads because you LiveJournal people are sucking up all my bandwidth (35% for that one page!)

4-02-04  FURL
Check out what I've been browsing: FURL.net bookmark archive. Not much commentary, relevance, or sequitur—but it's what's keeping this blog from turning into a meme dumpster.



  1. TONMO - The Octopus News Magazine Online. Invaluable.
  2. Angrywhale - Meet Leonard. He's an angry sort of whale.
  3. The Squid Blog - From the Laughing Squid people.


  4. Moxyberry - Where the cousin is at. Her bookmarks here.
  5. Cranky User - Brian's bookmarks. Updated, unlike his site.
  6. Rosenstock - Her other ride is your mom.
  7. Lauren - Wet Hot Singaporean Blogging.
  8. Universal Donor - Like the prime number shitting bear, but with terrible back pain.
  9. Olivia - Who receives special dispensation from our usual policies.
BLAG  read the archive

Monday, November 29, 2004
dannyboy 8:45 PM (0)



Ok. Shellfish is unique among foods in that it can be either delicious, or amazingly disgusting. Sometimes at the same time. I had a plate of mussels for dinner and everything was going well. I got to the biggest bastard of them all, which I was saving for last. When I pried open the shell, the quivering blob of flesh inside was the size of my fist. And it looked like something from a horror movie. I just... couldn't do it. My survival instincts kicked in, and I couldn't eat it.

"It was a bold man who first ate an oyster." -Jonathan Swift

Tuesday, November 23, 2004
dannyboy 6:42 PM (0)



ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS MY TWO FRONT TEETH: Go to the dentist. Up until last week, I hadn't been to the dentist in about 10 years. This morning I had $2000 worth of work done, and I will return to have $1500 more. Also, everyone should really floss. Really. Ok, back to my chew-friendly meal of potato mush.

Sunday, November 21, 2004
dannyboy 11:37 AM (0)



rock mile beach

Tuesday, November 16, 2004
moxy 1:34 PM (0)



dkuo brightens up my work day:

plastic duck castings
dkuo: you should get some of those
dkuo: i would want a few duck butts on my bathroom ceiling

Friday, November 12, 2004
dannyboy 2:12 PM (0)




Well, the Germans have screwed me again.

Pictured above are the instructions that came with replacement windshield wipers purchased for my car. In their entirety. The manufacturer is German, and I suppose this is their attempt at being universal. The result is, I don't know if my wipers are seated properly, and will likely come flying off my car during the next rainstorm, and I will die.

dannyboy 9:56 AM (0)


I have a friend from college living in Sweden who every once in a while emails photos of her 15 month old kid. At the close of today's email: "When are the little Dan juniors gonna come out and play with Morgan?" Ladies, gentlemen--remember all the panic about how my life was slipping away like grains of sand between my fingers, which petered out when the yoke of employment stole from me my sense of the passage of time? Well, it's back. Yay!

Thursday, November 11, 2004
dannyboy 3:35 PM (0)



Fuck the South dot com.

And when you're ready for a more meaningful piece, Dan Savage explains why urban voters are the Democratic party's future. Forget States. It's the cities, stupid.

dannyboy 9:33 AM (0)


I started writing a post about how when it rains in the Bay Area, people die--but then I realized I was blogging about the weather. So I punched myself in the nuts and hit delete. Instead, you should look at my FURL page, as there have been some gems lately.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004
dannyboy 4:39 PM (0)



So I'm getting older, and one of the things you do when you get older is buy a sport coat. I spent parts of a Friday afternoon and evening trying to find one at Macys. Dear god. Being a man is not easy. You women will complain about childbirth and PMS and cramps and your menses, but at least you don't have aggressive salesmen clawing at your feet, trying to sell you two month's pay worth of dress shirts. Which comes out to about two and a half shirts. Ok, winding up my story, I found nothing I liked in my size, save: a suede blazer I had thought about putting corduroy elbow patches on, but decided against, because only one other person in the entire world would find it amusing; and a beautiful, handsome, perfect, bright-shining, cancer-curing jacket made of Virgin Italian wool that cost $1200. Which left me thinking two things. 1) If they made this cut in Dirty Slut American wool, I would gladly pay my $169.99 and 2) I could raise my own sheep of unquestioned virtue, shear her, and hire a tailor for less than one thousand dollars.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004
dannyboy 9:35 AM (0)



"You're getting more grey hairs," she said, eleven years my senior. And then she remarked, "I like it." I am not sure how to feel about that...

Tuesday, November 02, 2004
dannyboy 10:06 PM (0)



You know what? The Republicans are right. I am a liberal intellectual elitist, and I DO hate America. In fact, every one of you morons that voted for Bush needs to get in line in front of my house so I can personally spit in your face. You chose based on fear, uncertainty and doubt. You thought "moral" issues were more important than terrorism or the economy. You are more concerned with who *I* fuck than with how much money *you* make, or whether or not *you* DIE. Guess what, America? You just got punk'd. And I'm going to have to pay for it. FUCK YOU, CLOWN!

J.Ro 10:05 AM (0)


Cue Theme From Greatest American Hero Unfortunately I fear by posting this, I am somehow jinxing something.

dannyboy 8:23 AM (0)


Well, today's the day and I'm about to head off to my polling place. I'll leave you with this: If you vote today, may you be rewarded with hot patriotic sex. If you didn't vote, may you not have sex for a year. And if you voted for Bush, I hope you get herpes.

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