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As with a low sucking sound it slowly disappeared again, Starbuck still gazing at the agitated waters where it had sunk, with a wild voice exclaimed—“Almost rather I had seen Moby Dick and fought him, than to have seen thee, thou white ghost!”
      “What was it, Sir?” said Flask.
      “The great live squid, which, they say, few whale-ships ever beheld and returned to their ports to tell of it.”

Moby-Dick, 1851


3-17-09  No one reads this column
Guys, FURL sucks. It has sucked for years, and I'm sorry I've been using it. I have switched over to delicious; I would have done this much sooner, but they made it really difficult the last time I tried.

4-21-08  Archives
Uhmm, apparently archives haven't really been working since late 2006. THANX for the heads up guys! They are temporarily fixed, and will stay temporarily fixed until I migrate to new software/layout. I have said some hilarious things in the last 7 years, that future generations will feel lucky I preserved. Go check them out.

1-18-08  new iPhone icon
Woah, it's been 3 years since the last news update! Fuzzysquid now has a webclips icon for your iPhone! It'll automagically show up when you add FS to your home screen. Atom and RSS feeds have been available for a few years now, but I never made special mention of it.

1-14-05  LJ images
Since it seems to be popular, and it's been linked in a lot of different places besides here, I've decided to post the LJ Images page. At least in the news, at least for now. It's also getting some Google ads because you LiveJournal people are sucking up all my bandwidth (35% for that one page!)

4-02-04  FURL
Check out what I've been browsing: FURL.net bookmark archive. Not much commentary, relevance, or sequitur—but it's what's keeping this blog from turning into a meme dumpster.



  1. TONMO - The Octopus News Magazine Online. Invaluable.
  2. Angrywhale - Meet Leonard. He's an angry sort of whale.
  3. The Squid Blog - From the Laughing Squid people.


  4. Moxyberry - Where the cousin is at. Her bookmarks here.
  5. Cranky User - Brian's bookmarks. Updated, unlike his site.
  6. Rosenstock - Her other ride is your mom.
  7. Lauren - Wet Hot Singaporean Blogging.
  8. Universal Donor - Like the prime number shitting bear, but with terrible back pain.
  9. Olivia - Who receives special dispensation from our usual policies.
BLAG  read the archive

Wednesday, September 29, 2004
moxy 6:10 AM (0)



In a stupid moment of clumsiness yesterday, I cut the tip of my right pinky rather deeply. Now I have a little band-aid on it to protect the gash.

The computer keyboard is a completely new ballgame when your right-hand pinky finger is out of comission. Seriously. I'm thinking of eliminating all apostrophes, quotation marks, and line breaks in all of my documents today.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Malb 8:08 PM (0)



Do I really wanna Go Vote after watching this.

Monday, September 27, 2004
dannyboy 9:57 AM (0)



IRONY: crème fraîche, isn't.

Saturday, September 25, 2004
moxy 9:56 PM (0)



I got a new cellphone over the weekend. The damn thing doesn't have a single normal-sounding ringtone! Everything is a crappy polyphonic disco/techno rehash of a Classical song or something ridiculous; I'd be embarrassed if this phone rang in public. Going online to download a new tone is useless, as I'm not interested in using the latest Beyonce or Linkin Park song. Why don't phones just plain ol' ring anymore? Ring-ring? Anybody?

I feel like a high schooler when I'm using this phone.

Thursday, September 23, 2004
J.Ro 1:10 PM (0)



Shout Out To Dan

dannyboy 9:50 AM (0)


At my office there is a very clear hierarchy with regard to who has the nice chairs. Most of the employees have the standard, ass-pain inducing generic office chairs. All the executives have Aeron or Freedom chairs, plus a few scattered lucky people. I complain about ergonomics and healthy work practices all the time, but no one pays attention. Recently, an extra (not in great condition) Freedom chair turned up, and it's been sitting across the desk from my manager, who gets visitors. She mentioned to us that she was trying to come up with an interesting way to decide who of the designers would get the chair, and that the only thing that has come to mind was keeping track of how many hours we put in for a week and giving it to the one who worked the most. That's right, a contest to see who could stay the latest, and the reward is a chair that we all should have already, but with the upholstery torn and the goop leaking out. So I said fuck that, took the chair, and I've been sitting in it for two weeks.

Monday, September 20, 2004
dannyboy 8:29 AM (0)



A few observations from this weekend.

1. Teenage girls and tee shirts that say things. You shouldn't wear a shirt that says "Beer goggles not required" if you're not old enough to drink. In fact, just don't wear shirts with "clever" sayings on them. Unless they are made by Jessie, in which case, they are totally indie rock and you should buy lots, and not because I get a cut.

2. No one needs a $108 dress shirt, least of all, me. Please give me appropriate gifts. Preferably things I can drink.

3. If you think you drink a lot, you are wrong. There is always someone else with a much bigger problem.

Thursday, September 16, 2004
dannyboy 11:25 AM (0)



dkuo: you know
dkuo: when i am on the phone
dkuo: like visibly
dkuo: people shouldn't keep talking at me
aingealis: just give them a signal
aingealis: yeah that happens to me too
dkuo: "SHUT UP"
dkuo: that was my signal

Tuesday, September 14, 2004
dannyboy 11:26 PM (0)



I had dinner with my sister tonight and it was awful. Not my sister's company, but the service at the restaurant. I don't know why I got so upset, because in the grand scheme of things, waiting 15 minutes for the waitress to come back and see how you're doing (we wanted to see the menu again) isn't that bad. Waiting another 10 for her to come back and actually take your order isn't going to kill you. Finishing your main course and having to fight for her attention again for 15 minutes, while your sister eats garnish and salt, ok whatever. And then waiting 20 minutes for your dessert order to show up isn't the end of the... wait fuck and goddamn, tonight FUCKING SUCKED! Maybe that's why I was livid. When your dinner is pound-me-in-the-ass expensive, you're not supposed to be ANGRY at the end! I wrote down why our waitress was getting a shitty tip on the receipt, and called the owner when I got home to chew him out. Ok, well, it was more like, I left 13.5%, and the owner was very reasonable and offered to pick up my next dinner, which I declined. So ok, I am a pussy. The end.

Monday, September 13, 2004
dannyboy 11:59 AM (0)



Politics really isn't that hard to understand.

Saturday, September 11, 2004
dannyboy 11:46 PM (0)




This $100 bottle of absinthe is several important object lessons all in one: about how you can't push globalization without understanding what it means to live in a global society; about how the weakness of the dollar against the GBP has hurt me personally; and about how very hard it is to take a sharp photo when your drink is 68% alcohol.

Thursday, September 09, 2004
dannyboy 9:26 AM (0)



I was getting dizzy driving back last night, and by the time I got home all the muscles in my body felt like they were incapable of caring whether or not I wanted to move anymore. Like those dreams you have when you're chasing down the guy who grabbed your girlfriend's purse, but you are going very slowly because your legs have turned to rubber.

I went to bed at 9pm (yes, which means I got 11 hours of sleep) and I still feel miserable. How can your eyeballs hurt? How is that even possible? On the plus side, I did have some pretty crazy dreams last night. I dreamed that my body was the key to solving the world's energy problems, we just had to take advantage of the temperature gradient (how can one part of my body be feverish and the other shivering?); I was able to dream in four spatial dimensions, that I had found a solution to quantum gravity, and I was able to move mountains with my thoughts--which I realized were not coherent in normal space-time because they kept resonating in that extra dimension.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004
dannyboy 9:59 AM (0)



Marie is also a good woman, but I am not at liberty to discuss why. But it may involve crotchless panties...

Tuesday, September 07, 2004
dannyboy 1:33 AM (0)



Jessie is a good woman, because she would much rather have a helper monkey than a worthless blood-diamond: "I want him to be wearing a fez, a vest and maybe a little bow tie. The fez isn't the most important part, but I think it's cute. I do insist on pants, because I don't want monkey bits ruining this special moment." How can anyone this fantastically bitter still be single?

Thursday, September 02, 2004
J.Ro 11:20 PM (0)



I promised to post at some point after consuming alcohol. My only thoughts are innapropriate jokes, and that as the end of summer approaches, the RNC was the closest thing to revisiting NA-na-la-la (9/11) that has hit NYC since.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004
dannyboy 9:22 AM (0)



I am surrounded by passively aggressive people, and as someone who takes pride in being openly hostile, I hate it. Well, I am thinking specifically about one person, who I would like to not exist anymore (they don't have to die, they just shouldn't be around me). The best was when this person accused ME of being passive aggressive, because that may be the only bit of pop psychobabble that they have managed to pick up (itself a mixed blessing). How can I be "passive" when I am telling you to your face that you are a miserable person?

The obfuscation in this post was brought to you by Joyce, the programmer at Friendster who was fired for talking about work on her blog. Friendster: No Really, We're Not Just A Punchline Anymore

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