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As with a low sucking sound it slowly disappeared again, Starbuck still gazing at the agitated waters where it had sunk, with a wild voice exclaimed—“Almost rather I had seen Moby Dick and fought him, than to have seen thee, thou white ghost!”
      “What was it, Sir?” said Flask.
      “The great live squid, which, they say, few whale-ships ever beheld and returned to their ports to tell of it.”

Moby-Dick, 1851


3-17-09  No one reads this column
Guys, FURL sucks. It has sucked for years, and I'm sorry I've been using it. I have switched over to delicious; I would have done this much sooner, but they made it really difficult the last time I tried.

4-21-08  Archives
Uhmm, apparently archives haven't really been working since late 2006. THANX for the heads up guys! They are temporarily fixed, and will stay temporarily fixed until I migrate to new software/layout. I have said some hilarious things in the last 7 years, that future generations will feel lucky I preserved. Go check them out.

1-18-08  new iPhone icon
Woah, it's been 3 years since the last news update! Fuzzysquid now has a webclips icon for your iPhone! It'll automagically show up when you add FS to your home screen. Atom and RSS feeds have been available for a few years now, but I never made special mention of it.

1-14-05  LJ images
Since it seems to be popular, and it's been linked in a lot of different places besides here, I've decided to post the LJ Images page. At least in the news, at least for now. It's also getting some Google ads because you LiveJournal people are sucking up all my bandwidth (35% for that one page!)

4-02-04  FURL
Check out what I've been browsing: FURL.net bookmark archive. Not much commentary, relevance, or sequitur—but it's what's keeping this blog from turning into a meme dumpster.



  1. TONMO - The Octopus News Magazine Online. Invaluable.
  2. Angrywhale - Meet Leonard. He's an angry sort of whale.
  3. The Squid Blog - From the Laughing Squid people.


  4. Moxyberry - Where the cousin is at. Her bookmarks here.
  5. Cranky User - Brian's bookmarks. Updated, unlike his site.
  6. Rosenstock - Her other ride is your mom.
  7. Lauren - Wet Hot Singaporean Blogging.
  8. Universal Donor - Like the prime number shitting bear, but with terrible back pain.
  9. Olivia - Who receives special dispensation from our usual policies.
BLAG  read the archive

Wednesday, June 30, 2004
dannyboy 10:02 PM (0)




consulting the GPS

red trees.

at the top

Tuesday, June 29, 2004
dannyboy 9:24 AM (0)



BESTIARY OF MY BEDROOM: I woke up in the middle of the night because I felt something crawling on me. It's pretty amazing how strong of an evolutionary reflex that is. I got pissed off, scratched at it and rolled over. This morning I found little bits of spider all over my bed. Now, from what I know of spiders, they seem rather dim. What does a cockroach do when you turn on the lights? It scurries for cover. What does a big dark hairy spider do? Freeze, right where it is, in the middle of your bright WHITE wall. WTF? Like if it stands real still I won't be able to see it? And what evolutionary process decided it was a good idea for big dark hairy spiders to cuddle up against giant, though admittedly warm, but fucking giant, mammals in the middle of the night?

Thursday, June 24, 2004
dannyboy 11:10 PM (0)



I am your friend in California, who you call when it's too late and everyone else is already asleep. I remember when it was the other way around.

moxy 10:13 PM (0)


For food enthusiasts:

Alton Brown (of Food Network and "Good Eats" fame) keeps his own blog. I really like him and his shows: he is very much into the science and chemistry of cooking and baking (see The Thermochemical Joy of Cooking.) Unfortunately, his blog is not updated very often and there doesn't seem to be an archive but what he has up is entertaining. My favorite is his entry from March 14 about Martha.

moxy 9:34 PM (0)


Jon Stewart's speech at this year's William and Mary College commencement ceremony was a winner. It is sharp and very funny, and one can imagine Stewart delivering such an address.

"You do this?and I believe you can?you win this war on terror, and Tom Brokaw?s kissing your ass from here to Tikrit, let me tell ya. And even if you don?t, you?re not gonna have much trouble surpassing my generation. If you end up getting your picture taken next to a naked guy pile of enemy prisoners and don?t give the thumbs up you?ve outdid us."

"I was not exceptional here, and am not now. I was mediocre here. And I?m not saying aim low. Not everybody can wander around in an alcoholic haze and then at 40 just, you know, decide to be president."

dannyboy 10:07 AM (0)


OH DEAR GOD OF EVERYTHING THAT IS HOLY. My mother just emailed this picture to me. This is a milestone, friends. My mother is now sending me crap forwards. WHICH ONE OF YOU GAVE HER MY EMAIL ADDRESS?!

Tuesday, June 22, 2004
dannyboy 11:27 PM (0)




dannyboy 12:15 AM (0)


I want to marry a girl that insists "La La Love You" by the Pixies be played at our wedding.

Monday, June 21, 2004
dannyboy 11:27 PM (0)




Vodka is for the weekdays, and scotch is for the weekends.

dannyboy 9:54 AM (0)


Does anyone else need Gmail? I've got a bunch more invites now; the public launch seems imminent.

Sunday, June 20, 2004
dannyboy 8:54 PM (0)



I think one of the best things about having a baby must be the little hat you put on them when they're born.

dannyboy 11:51 AM (0)


This morning I had a dream about ALL of my ex-girlfriends, combined. It was miserable. I woke up with a jolt, and found that I had bitten a hole in my pillowcase. It was at the point in the dream where I was being chased by two goons shooting tranquilizer darts at me, and I was already pretty pissed off by then.

dannyboy 12:14 AM (0)


Have I mentioned (recently) how much I ♥ Tina Fey?

Saturday, June 19, 2004
dannyboy 1:15 AM (0)



In my head I keep a list of the best and most awesome things people have ever said to me. It's good to think about these things sometimes. Here are two from high school (any more recent and they would be too recognizable and thus hugely embarrassing):

"HA! You do love me!"
"I would buy you puppies."

Friday, June 18, 2004
dannyboy 2:36 PM (0)



No one appreciates the effort I put in. Here's an example. At work, I have to fill in a lot of dummy text for the designs I make. These designs get displayed on large HD screens, so I basically have a personal forum to write whatever I want--actually, kind of like this website. And much like this website, the things I come up with are SIDEWAYS ARSE-FUCKING BRILLIANT. I could just bang in John Dough & Lorem Ipsum To Wed, Wed. and be done with it, but I go the extra mile. I do research. I am historically accurate, mother fucker! Oh, I know all about Guy Fawkes Day. Anyhoo, the gems that I drop on my barely awake coworkers must be piling up in the ether, somewhere. Where does wit go when no one recognizes it? Same place unrequited love and good intentions go, I suppose. STRAIGHT INTO THE FIERY PITS OF HELL

Thursday, June 17, 2004
dannyboy 8:48 PM (0)



Why isn't anything holding my interest?

Tuesday, June 15, 2004
dannyboy 7:22 PM (0)




Malb 3:14 PM (0)


Yeah, so I bought the new Beasties album. Not too proud of myself for that. Why in the world do I wanna listen to a bunch of 50 yr old grandpas spitting rhymes. But luckily there was a DJ Shadow dvd on sale. Hella sweeet!!

Sunday, June 13, 2004
dannyboy 12:58 AM (0)



I just ate something so sweet that my head hurts, my heart is struggling in my chest, and it feels like there's a hole in my soul like a cavity.

Saturday, June 12, 2004
dannyboy 1:34 PM (0)



Yes, I know what day it is. And it's taking a lot for me not to say anything.

Friday, June 11, 2004
dannyboy 3:33 PM (0)



Sometimes, when you leave a city, you should leave it for good. Like when you die, you should die for good, and not come back all undead and jonesing for braaaains.

Thursday, June 10, 2004
Malb 8:45 PM (0)



Check out Sam's official new movie

dannyboy 1:49 PM (0)


In case you're dying to gift me with something but are at a loss as to what: Britannica First Edition Replica Set, "Three complete volumes of the original 1768 Encyclopędia Britannica, First Edition. Painstakingly exact facsimile reproductions of natural age marks and watermarks. Duplicate of the original binding, down to the cherished imperfections."

dannyboy 9:47 AM (0)


Does anyone else need a gmail account? Limited time offer! Supplies limited! Only one per customer, please!

Tuesday, June 08, 2004
dannyboy 2:27 PM (0)



Sometimes browsing the web, you read things that don't let you go. This guy belongs to an online community I frequent, and at a glance can't really be distinguished from the rest of us left-leaning, blog-writing, urban digerati. Except he's homeless. And no, not like those two jackasses in New York who are "urban campers," he's the soup-kitchen variety of homeless. And... he reads The Economist, takes inane blogger badge quizzes (Which NYTimes Op-Ed columnist are you?), and recently has gotten himself into quite a Josephian quandary. This is how you can both love and hate the(... ugh... must... not say... "blogsphere"), as I do. Because among all the tired and repeated stories, there are inevitably a few people with something unique and compelling to say, who you wouldn't mind having a drink with.

dannyboy 12:06 AM (0)



I've had a favorite pair of fuzzy grey sneakers for the last 5 years. Understandably, they've gotten pretty worn. I've tried on every pair of sneakers I could find, but the closest I've found to a replacement was discontinued. But then I realized, why bother? Good sneakers, like love, is hard to find; once you get 'em, hold onto 'em. Thankfully, they make my favorite pair in about two dozen different colors*, so I should be set for at least the next decade.

*Note that link goes to women's colors, because as always girl sneakers are 10x more awesome than boys'; also note that the original original Jazz shoes were entirely made of suede, and this new 'classic' line is a suede/nylon mix--so my 5 year old's aren't going in the trash anytime soon.

Monday, June 07, 2004
dannyboy 9:18 AM (0)



Last night I dreamed that Pepper (the cat) died. I found her under my desk at work, and when I touched her she was cold and deflated, like a jellyfish on the beach. I was convinced that Nixon (the President) was responsible.

Tuesday, June 01, 2004
dannyboy 11:37 AM (0)



LIST OF THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY: puppies, finding gifts you've forgotten about, kitties, boobies, the color chartreuse, ninjas, tigers, cupcakes, 9-11 humor, pistachio ice cream, boobies, beers of the world uniting in my belly, ninjas & tigers fighting for dominance on Alcatraz island, Canadians, sneakers, comeuppance, boobies, clafoutis, octopuses, girls that smell nice, monkeys, physical comedy, as demonstrated by the unwitting, random e-mails from strangers, post-it notes, robots, giant and otherwise, 80's movies, break dancing, good ideas, telepathy, boobies.

dannyboy 10:39 AM (0)


LIST OF THINGS THAT MAKE ME SAD: the song "Whatever Lola Wants", rain, lack of rain, grey 1992 Toyota Corolla's, traveling alone, the color pink, responsibility, the infirm, mapmakers, the unavailability of pet monkeys, the end of books, a sense of proportion, vacation photos, zombies, the city of Denver, brick buildings, lack of brick buildings, alien abduction, clowns, blackcurrant jelly, clawfoot tubs, cleanliness, modernity, squalor, Breakfast at Tiffany's, mochi, thinking about my mother, Richard Serra sculptures, three-legged dogs, empty skies, thinking about large and massively dense things like the marble pillars in my high school that took three people holding hands to encircle.

No, wait, those last two belong in the List of Things That Make Me Feel Threatened.

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