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As with a low sucking sound it slowly disappeared again, Starbuck still gazing at the agitated waters where it had sunk, with a wild voice exclaimed—“Almost rather I had seen Moby Dick and fought him, than to have seen thee, thou white ghost!”
      “What was it, Sir?” said Flask.
      “The great live squid, which, they say, few whale-ships ever beheld and returned to their ports to tell of it.”

Moby-Dick, 1851


3-17-09  No one reads this column
Guys, FURL sucks. It has sucked for years, and I'm sorry I've been using it. I have switched over to delicious; I would have done this much sooner, but they made it really difficult the last time I tried.

4-21-08  Archives
Uhmm, apparently archives haven't really been working since late 2006. THANX for the heads up guys! They are temporarily fixed, and will stay temporarily fixed until I migrate to new software/layout. I have said some hilarious things in the last 7 years, that future generations will feel lucky I preserved. Go check them out.

1-18-08  new iPhone icon
Woah, it's been 3 years since the last news update! Fuzzysquid now has a webclips icon for your iPhone! It'll automagically show up when you add FS to your home screen. Atom and RSS feeds have been available for a few years now, but I never made special mention of it.

1-14-05  LJ images
Since it seems to be popular, and it's been linked in a lot of different places besides here, I've decided to post the LJ Images page. At least in the news, at least for now. It's also getting some Google ads because you LiveJournal people are sucking up all my bandwidth (35% for that one page!)

4-02-04  FURL
Check out what I've been browsing: FURL.net bookmark archive. Not much commentary, relevance, or sequitur—but it's what's keeping this blog from turning into a meme dumpster.



  1. TONMO - The Octopus News Magazine Online. Invaluable.
  2. Angrywhale - Meet Leonard. He's an angry sort of whale.
  3. The Squid Blog - From the Laughing Squid people.


  4. Moxyberry - Where the cousin is at. Her bookmarks here.
  5. Cranky User - Brian's bookmarks. Updated, unlike his site.
  6. Rosenstock - Her other ride is your mom.
  7. Lauren - Wet Hot Singaporean Blogging.
  8. Universal Donor - Like the prime number shitting bear, but with terrible back pain.
  9. Olivia - Who receives special dispensation from our usual policies.
BLAG  read the archive

Friday, October 31, 2003
dannyboy 12:19 AM (0)



Happy Halloween!

Tuesday, October 28, 2003
dannyboy 5:00 PM (0)



Things that are stupid: Daylight Savings Time. Last week, I had to wear sunglasses on my drive home. Last night, it was pitch dark. How does this help anyone? Those farmers are going to pay!

moxy 4:48 PM (0)


Oh, by the way Dan, how come there isn't a notification when there are comments posted to an entry? It seems to be stuck at "!"...

moxy 4:46 PM (0)


And for your second dosage of Brian Greene, here is a link to the cover story of this month's issue of Scientific American: Strings & Spacetime with 11 Dimensions: Physicist Brian Greene Talks About String Theory, Quantum Gravity, Parallel Worlds, and More."

I think that I once stood behind him in line at one of our local bagel stores.

moxy 9:39 AM (0)


Raised by a pack of French poodles? Jessica Simpson's mesmerizing brand of dumb.

I once saw her say on an interview: "I might be ditzy but I'm not dumb - there's a difference." Right. But apparently she doesn't know the difference between buffalo wings and actual buffalo meat, and "chicken of the sea" and actual chicken.

dannyboy 12:39 AM (0)



Home improvement.

Monday, October 27, 2003
dannyboy 3:49 PM (0)



You must watch this show tomorrow night. Brian Greene (author of one of my favorite books) will explain life, the universe, and everything, to the best of his abilities. If you miss it, the show in its entirety will be available for download on the PBS website, after it airs.

dannyboy 2:51 PM (0)


A fun visual IQ test. Not that I believe that a person's IQ means anything. That is of course, unless I scored better than all of you, in which case, it means I'm brilliant. (The test is timed, and you'll need 40 uninterrupted minutes)

rurouni 2:27 PM (0)


The ability to be sarcastic in text seems to have eluded me. Hmm..I don't see this commenting link.

dannyboy 1:03 PM (0)


Check it: the site now has commenting... again. (Clicky on the link next to the timestamp.)

dannyboy 9:42 AM (0)


No. Why would that make me feel better? Wait, unless you're miserable? That might do it.

rurouni 12:40 AM (0)


Does it make you feel any better to know that my job is basically to travel and learn a new language? I still have to wash my darn sheets though.

Sunday, October 26, 2003
dannyboy 10:40 PM (0)



One of my regrets about college is not getting to know all the computer nerds that made up 50% of the school. I realized today that one of the things I miss most about CMU was the fact that the most popular student website on campus at one time had a live feed from a cam installed in this girl's pants ("since everyone's trying to get into Alison's pants anyway..."). Are you listening to me?! This was before all the britney camwhores with the amazon tipjars, goddamn, do you know how BIG wireless cameras were back then? That's fucking dedication, holmes!

dannyboy 10:32 PM (0)


I just ate a pineapple.

I cut it open myself, but I didn't do a very good job, so now I'm picking little bits of thorny flesh out of my mouth. Can you tell this is my first time?

(You may remember today as the day that this website turned into a play by play of all the mundane minutiae in my life. And goddamnit, you're still not allowed to call me a blogger.)

Saturday, October 25, 2003
dannyboy 1:21 PM (0)



I wish it could be my job to just travel and learn other languages. Because I'm pretty sick of washing my sheets.

Friday, October 24, 2003
dannyboy 4:48 PM (0)



I'm tired of being around people I have to lie to. I'd like to be around people I want to lie to.

dannyboy 3:37 PM (0)


Christ in a sidecar. As far as the city of San Francisco is concerned, the street I live on doesn't exist. This is the explanation I was given for why my parking permit request was denied. SERENITY NOW!

Thursday, October 23, 2003
dannyboy 9:47 PM (0)



1. I am jealous of the recipient of the first quote.
2. I like outliers.

dannyboy 7:47 PM (0)


Consider the following a PSA
Women are easy to figure out. It only becomes difficult when you stop thinking with your head. Like Yogi Berra said, "you can observe a lot just by watching." Have you ever wondered whether or not a woman secretly has feelings for you? Well guess what, she doesn't. No. No. There are no exceptions. Here, look--

What a woman says when she wants you
"I can't stop thinking about you. I feel like a crackwhore."

What a woman says when she's just your friend
"[anything else]"

I heartily recommend all the men in the audience (re)read Ladder Theory, and figure out which ladder you're on. I have independently verified this with the Hot Roommate... who I am cruelly honest with, as I have no desire to sleep with her.

dannyboy 10:49 AM (0)


HOLY SHIT. Amazon to take over world, RSN.

Wednesday, October 22, 2003
dannyboy 3:01 PM (0)



I mean, I treasure the little card I got from cheating my way through The World's Largest Maze, but damned if I'll actually do anything with it other than leave it where it was tossed 10 months ago.

dannyboy 2:57 PM (0)


It is my tendency to keep everything that I have ever come into contact with so far in life, and this is a problem because I touch like, 200 pieces of things every day. When I get home my pockets are full of ticket stubs and other meaningless fluff. In contrast to my college roommate, who threw everything away--yearbooks, album art, pennies, etc. The problem is, I don't do this because I assign real sentimental value to these odd bits. Well, no, I do, but I refuse to accept this, so I toss them somewhere in the house never to be looked at again. I don't have a place for them, so they collect in piles in the corners like dust bunnies. Looking at my piles makes me unreasonably sad.

dannyboy 9:24 AM (0)


Ugh. My shirt (and kitchen) smells of deep frying.

Tuesday, October 21, 2003
dannyboy 11:22 PM (0)



I'm growing more and more disconnected to the world, and I don't know that I find this to be a tragedy. When I think about things like this, I think about the girl who was the love of my life in high school. She was, for her own reasons, descending into solitude. Not because she wanted to, but not because she didn't want to. I was along for the ride, and it was interesting. The things she said to me, cold, but not malicious. I don't know that this is something to turn or be turned around from. This isn't forever though. Like the next love of my life, who was convinced she would die in her mid-thirties (she's still alive)--I raged against it at the time. But now I understand what that means, and what she was saying. Tonight I had a talk with the roommate about ladders, and how I want to discard an old friend. She asked me to read an article she had written, and I declined.

dannyboy 5:26 PM (0)


Sometimes my job isn't so bad, when it's lingerie and video game ads all day long.

Saturday, October 18, 2003
dannyboy 1:27 PM (0)



I alternately desire and condemn normalcy, without any real idea of what that is.

Also, the world series would be more fun this year if everyone in the Bay weren't lugubrious over the A's and Giants inability to not suck.

Friday, October 17, 2003
moxy 9:04 AM (0)



iTunes for Windows is here. I'm not a hardcore Apple junkie but I think that this is indeed a *very* awesome move for Apple. The RIAA can kiss it.

Oh, yah, how 'bout them Yanks?

Thursday, October 16, 2003
dannyboy 10:04 AM (0)



"Hamamoto wants to start a discussion about Asian-American sexuality, which he says has been damaged by years of colonialism and racism that has turned Asian women into a sexual fetish and Asian men into eunuchs." And how does he want to start this discussion, you ask? Good ole, red-blooded Asian-American porn. Or, as the UC Davis professor calls it, yellow porn.

dannyboy 9:37 AM (0)


Goddamn. Most disturbing is CNN's image gallery of the ripped up interior (which made me think of Warhol's crime scene paintings), and realizing that it was the boat I often took home for 4 years in high school. We hid stuff under the seats where they kept the life preservers, fully expecting to go back in 10 years and find it still there.

Wednesday, October 15, 2003
Malb 9:03 PM (0)



The bloody ferry crashed into the terminal today. At least 10 people were killed. What a tragedy!! Oh yes, might I add the captain of the ship went home afterwards and tried to commit suicide by slitting his wrist and shooting himself w/ a bb gun.

dannyboy 2:53 PM (0)


I'm still reading that confessions site, compulsively. All those entries are pretty much in-line with what I know to be true about humanity.

dannyboy 11:49 AM (0)



Tuesday, October 14, 2003
dannyboy 1:39 PM (0)



Confessions. "I pull my hair out. I have to wear a hat to hide my bald spot. Whenever anyone asks me about my hat, I tell them that I wear it because I love it so much. I can't stop pulling my hair. It has deeply affected the way I act."

I can't stop reading them. I also contributed one...

dannyboy 11:47 AM (0)


The myth of overconsumption: people are actually spending less on consumer items than their parents did. So why are middle class people going bankrupt? "Over the past generation mortgage costs have increased 70 times faster than a man's wages... Americans are not going broke over lattes!"

Just something else for me to look foward to.

dannyboy 9:49 AM (0)


Last night I dreamt I was married to a cartoon scientist who got her PhD from Yale. We were on a mission to save the universe, as it was fracturing into all its possible quantum states. I saw all the possible consequences to our actions, including one where my wife didn't get married to me, but instead to our monkey nemesis. Damn dirty ape. I watched a man roll a Rubik's cube and every time it would land, solved, on the same side. It was impossible to take the stairs anywhere, as you could walk forever but never get to the floor you wanted. We had to use special elevators that were shielded from the uncertainty, but not well, so sometimes we had to just keep hitting the button until we got to the right floor. Space-time was a mess, but it had the pleasurable side effect of allowing us to fly. We went to a book signing so we could convince these two physicists to help us, but then I noticed they did their doctoral work at Brown, and I said we should just move on.

Monday, October 13, 2003
dannyboy 11:42 AM (0)



Last night I dreamt I owned a pet pig.

dannyboy 10:25 AM (0)


Remember your classics? There are 5 platonic solids of perfect symmetry: tetrahedron, octahedron, icosahedron (all w/ triangular faces), cube (square faces), and dodecahedron (pentagonal faces). The first four corresponded to the basic elements: fire, air, water and earth--but the dodecahedron corresponded to the quintessence, the element of the heavens, or: the fifth element (not to be confused with the other 5th element, heavenly as she may be). As Plato said, "God used this solid for the whole universe, embroidering figures on it." New evidence suggests that the universe may be a finite dodecahedral space..! Or as Plato would say, "I was RIGHT you fuckers!"

dannyboy 9:29 AM (0)


"Life attacks us like a blind beast. It swallows up time, the years of our life, it passes like a typhoon and leaves nothing behind. Not even memory, because memory is made of the same swift, ungraspable substance out of which illusions emerge and then disappear."

?Alvaro Mutis, from The Adventures of Maqroll

Sunday, October 12, 2003
dannyboy 11:20 PM (0)



I just got back from watching Kill Bill. Which was horrifically violent and mostly good, though very self-consciously melodramatic. But right in the middle of the climax fight scene, I realized that the pattern of brown dots I had been noticing all throughout the screening was the new MPAA anti-piracy device, known by it's fans as "crap code." Apparently, their plan is to ruin their movies so no one will want to pirate them (blah Dickie Roberts witty titty blah blah). Good job. I couldn't focus on what was happening onscreen for 5 minutes, and all I could think about was "why did I just pay $11 to be treated like a criminal."

Thursday, October 09, 2003
dannyboy 11:44 AM (0)



When I came home from Hawaii, I found two nice surprises waiting for me:

Gloomy bear (you can buy your own at Kid Robot), from J.Rock The first link isn't entirely correct though, the story of Gloomy as I know it is that he was found by the boy as a bear cub, but as we all know, bears don't domesticate well... but who cares, it's muderous, bloodthirsty, and very kawaii.

DK Vol.1 #5, an American adaptation of an Italian comic from the 60s and also one of my favorite movies. From Brian

Wednesday, October 08, 2003
dannyboy 10:00 PM (0)




Waterfall on the road to Hana

Best sign EVAR

The black sand beach


The long beach goodbye

dannyboy 1:39 PM (0)


So... when's the next recall?

Tuesday, October 07, 2003
dannyboy 5:21 PM (0)



The world is going down the crapper my friends, which is all the more reason for me to drive fast and enjoy what I can, before I need to sign a licensing agreement for my soul.

"He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. That ideas should freely spread from one to another over the globe, for the moral and mutual instruction of man, and improvement of his condition, seems to have been peculiarly and benevolently designed by nature, when she made them, like fire, expansible over all space, without lessening their density in any point, and like the air in which we breathe, move, and have our physical being, incapable of confinement or exclusive appropriation. Inventions then cannot, in nature, be a subject of property. Society may give an exclusive right to the profits arising from them, as an encouragement to men to pursue ideas which may produce utility, but this may or may not be done, according to the will and convenience of the society, without claim or complaint from anybody? "

? Thomas Jefferson, letter to Isaac McPherson, 1813

dannyboy 11:29 AM (0)


I've never walked or biked over the Golden Gate bridge, because like most people who are uneasy with heights, it's not the fear of falling off, but the quiet urge to do so that I want to avoid. I'm not suicidal; I wouldn't shoot myself if I had a gun--there's just something compelling about being up high, that makes me entertain the thought of getting to the ground, fantastically. Anyway, I didn't realize that the Golden Gate was the most popular place to kill yourself in the world. The New Yorker has a fascinating and macabre article on jumpers, and why people don't really care to do anything about it.

Monday, October 06, 2003
dannyboy 9:07 PM (0)




The world's largest Buddha outside of Japan

dannyboy 5:51 PM (0)


The California recall election is tomorrow. I hope everyone is registered and got their polling places, because if Arnold wins you're all going on my list. Here's a PDF of a sample ballot, or as I like to call it, "Hilarity Now; Pain Later."

dannyboy 2:00 PM (0)


Oh happy day! How I've often wished for an underpants-shaped rug for my bathroom.

dannyboy 1:50 PM (0)


October is Breast Cancer awareness month. Down with cancer! Up with boobies!

dannyboy 12:35 AM (0)



Sunrise over Haleakala.

Top of the volcano, waiting for dawn.

Pineapple fields

Coral and fish, 150-ft. down

A big fish

Yup, that's fish allright

Pineapple. Oh wait no, that's fish.

A submarine

dannyboy 12:05 AM (0)


I think the moral of that post is, perhaps I'm drinking too much...

Sunday, October 05, 2003
dannyboy 11:59 PM (0)



All I remember about my life immediately prior to landing in paradise is some chick in the bar trying to impress me with knowing the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, and all I remember about my life immediately prior to leaving paradise is some man in the bar telling me about his girlfriend but never once using the word "girlfriend" and instead only using the word "lover," which creeped me the fuck out, in that New England-swinger kind of way.

dannyboy 9:36 PM (0)



View from my balcony

Another beautiful beach. Yawn.

Hula girls

Fire twirly dude

These are some people at a beach. I might be one of them.

This is a beach.

dannyboy 3:21 PM (0)


I find that born-again Christians and the undead have a lot in common. No matter how nice or polite they are to you, fundamentally, you are just meat to them. Vampires and zombies are singularly motivated in their dealings with you based on their desire for your blood and braaaaains (respectively), as Christians ultimately motivated in their dealings with you by their belief that you're going to helllll! You can't be friends with them--as it is very much a "you're either with us or against us" mentality--until you join the club.

Face it, they're better than you. They've got immortality/inhuman strength/a shortcut to all the answers, and moreover they're willing to share...

This post is brought to you by Martyrdom.

dannyboy 3:25 AM (0)


Yes yes, comments and stories and pictures from Maui, soon. But before that: yes, people change. But deep inside, maybe not. Maybe we are always, who we are. Maybe you can't keep in touch with your past. And maybe, in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.

Oh wait, that's a Beetles song.

Still it's true. If you're thinking about someone, maybe you should let them know. Everyone likes surprises. Ok, I'm going to take my vitamins and go to bed now.

dannyboy 3:02 AM (0)


I'm back from Hawaii! And I've got tanlines...

Friday, October 03, 2003
Malb 7:29 AM (0)



dammit, when will this end. i need to pee.

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