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As with a low sucking sound it slowly disappeared again, Starbuck still gazing at the agitated waters where it had sunk, with a wild voice exclaimed—“Almost rather I had seen Moby Dick and fought him, than to have seen thee, thou white ghost!”
      “What was it, Sir?” said Flask.
      “The great live squid, which, they say, few whale-ships ever beheld and returned to their ports to tell of it.”

Moby-Dick, 1851


3-17-09  No one reads this column
Guys, FURL sucks. It has sucked for years, and I'm sorry I've been using it. I have switched over to delicious; I would have done this much sooner, but they made it really difficult the last time I tried.

4-21-08  Archives
Uhmm, apparently archives haven't really been working since late 2006. THANX for the heads up guys! They are temporarily fixed, and will stay temporarily fixed until I migrate to new software/layout. I have said some hilarious things in the last 7 years, that future generations will feel lucky I preserved. Go check them out.

1-18-08  new iPhone icon
Woah, it's been 3 years since the last news update! Fuzzysquid now has a webclips icon for your iPhone! It'll automagically show up when you add FS to your home screen. Atom and RSS feeds have been available for a few years now, but I never made special mention of it.

1-14-05  LJ images
Since it seems to be popular, and it's been linked in a lot of different places besides here, I've decided to post the LJ Images page. At least in the news, at least for now. It's also getting some Google ads because you LiveJournal people are sucking up all my bandwidth (35% for that one page!)

4-02-04  FURL
Check out what I've been browsing: FURL.net bookmark archive. Not much commentary, relevance, or sequitur—but it's what's keeping this blog from turning into a meme dumpster.



  1. TONMO - The Octopus News Magazine Online. Invaluable.
  2. Angrywhale - Meet Leonard. He's an angry sort of whale.
  3. The Squid Blog - From the Laughing Squid people.


  4. Moxyberry - Where the cousin is at. Her bookmarks here.
  5. Cranky User - Brian's bookmarks. Updated, unlike his site.
  6. Rosenstock - Her other ride is your mom.
  7. Lauren - Wet Hot Singaporean Blogging.
  8. Universal Donor - Like the prime number shitting bear, but with terrible back pain.
  9. Olivia - Who receives special dispensation from our usual policies.
BLAG  read the archive

Friday, May 31, 2002
dannyboy 11:36 AM (0)



i gave a homeless man change today. i haven't done that in a very very very long time.

Malb 9:59 AM (0)


talk about black man's kryptonite. yeah baby!!

dannyboy 6:29 AM (0)


last night i had a dream that started out as rather normal. i was checking my voicemail, and someone had left me a nice message. then all hell broke loose. futuristic orange garbage trucks with R2D2 type thrusters came out of nowhere and were flying around above my head! luckily, i had a rocket launcher with me. ahem. god i need to grow up.

Thursday, May 30, 2002
dannyboy 8:20 AM (0)




dannyboy 8:19 AM (0)


i picked up a pack of linden's cookies this morning with my bagel. i haven't had them since junior high school! we used to dip them into our half pint containers of chocolate milk but they'd invariably crumble into the container and we'd have to fish the slurry out with a spork. everyone else liked fudge or chocolate chip, but my favorite was butter crunch.

dannyboy 6:37 AM (0)


one of the girls i work with isn't coming in today. she's been in the hospital all night because her roommate tried to kill herself. [...]

Wednesday, May 29, 2002
dannyboy 1:11 PM (0)



the squid is now listed on nyc bloggers. i'm the third blog to be mapped on staten island. go team!

Malb 12:51 PM (0)


more like spiderman clone saga

dannyboy 12:07 PM (0)


yes, but was it awesome cloneage (a la Jango Fett) or was it weak cloneage (a la Michael Keaton)?

Malb 8:56 AM (0)


you thought you had weird dreams. last nite i was dreaming that i had clones of myself. talk about crisis identity. to top that off i was an hour late for work. stupid star wars!

dannyboy 6:41 AM (0)


jennie (The Cousin) left for china a few days ago. speaking of little girls in big china, got an email from marie, she's alive. she bought a dog. a small one. what else. sheesh. it's got fleas. i could make an observation here, but i won't. ahem.

had a dream last night that i was an archeologist digging for fossils in my own mouth.

Tuesday, May 28, 2002
dannyboy 1:03 PM (0)




dannyboy 7:11 AM (0)


i wonder if people read this site and think this is who i am. as if this was actually a private forum for my thouhts. no. i find that there's more and more i can't say. just because i don't mention you doesn't mean i'm not thinking of you. if i seem happy it doesn't mean i am, all the time. the converse is true as well. ok. must stop before this turns into a R&B song.

Monday, May 27, 2002
dannyboy 8:33 PM (0)



hey, does anyone have a sibling or something that goes to stuyvesant? i want to get a tee shirt or a hoodie or something. i've got two shirts right now, one that i wear a lot (with pegleg pete on the front, part of my gym uniform--awesome) and one that's too serious for its own good. i want the same from carnegie--i'm still kicking myself for not... erm... getting up before the bookstore CLOSED... while i was back last month.

Sunday, May 26, 2002
dannyboy 7:37 PM (0)



angrywhale got an update. expect more updates in the next few days. no, seriously this time! they're already made... the saga continues.

dannyboy 2:05 PM (0)


i desire to live a life that is beyond reproach, but i also enjoy doing things that are fun. see my dilemma?

dannyboy 2:04 PM (0)



this is what bachelorhood looks like

dannyboy 7:49 AM (0)


I had a dream that I was playing a really really rare edition of mario brothers. from the graphics it must have been on a SNES. I can't remember the title, but it was pretty cool. and then I was going through a whole series of rooms, simulating james bond type action. except, it's as if my trainers had the budget and resources of the average 8 year old. ("the carpet's hot lava... oh dear you just burst into flames") the snow room was pretty awesome. everything was white, and there were giant pillars of styrofoam that I had to leap between, whilst dodging bullets. conclusion? I need to stop playing videogames before going to bed.

Saturday, May 25, 2002
dannyboy 7:30 AM (0)



happy towel day.

Thursday, May 23, 2002
dannyboy 7:58 PM (0)




they smell like beer...

moxy 8:12 AM (0)


From what I understand, it's the only food that will cause your pee to smell. Asparagus is sooo bizarre. Yet, it's so nice to eat in your food... hmmm.

dannyboy 6:58 AM (0)


why does asparagus make your pee smell so bad? i had TWO pieces last night and an hour later i almost fainted in the bathroom.

Tuesday, May 21, 2002
dannyboy 10:36 AM (0)



marie officially sucks. she left the country without saying goodbye to me! i'm never going to see her again and she couldn't manage a phone call! a post-it note! a yahoo e-card, even!

dannyboy 10:13 AM (0)


life's little embarrassing moments: i met a girl on the train this morning, and i was trying my hardest to figure out why she seemed familiar. then it hit me. i know her from porno! boy, was there egg on my face!

Monday, May 20, 2002
dannyboy 10:25 AM (0)




Sunday, May 19, 2002
dannyboy 12:34 PM (0)



good acting? sharp dialogue? a jedi craves not these things...

dannyboy 1:36 AM (0)


sleeping is for suckers. i just remembered another thing i miss about carnegie. 24-hour saturday morning cartoon marathons in mcconomy. show up in your pj's, watch transformers, and eat cereal. what could be better?

Saturday, May 18, 2002
dannyboy 8:57 AM (0)



I dreamed that I was a marine biologist. we were out on the ocean and I was even wearing an old-style fisherman's coat. the interesting part was back in the lab, where we were growing some sort of algae. the reason we were growing it was because we were investigating a strange murder. the weird part is the way we were doing it: giant tanks covered in cloth, not unlike huge waterbeds. the "waves" on the waterbeds got really intense and several of my staff were thrown off violently. by the way, our lab was in the basement of the house of one of my ex girlfriend's ex boyfriends. I went down there alone, and was attacked by a mysterious creature. then I woke up.

Friday, May 17, 2002
dannyboy 7:45 AM (0)



haha. i'm laughing at art.

dannyboy 6:54 AM (0)


here's what's going to happen to me. i'm going to meet a girl and fall in love, and when things are just getting good i'm going to move to california. why do i know this? because i believe in a higher power that amuses itself at my expense. yes, this is very self important of me. or maybe there's an alien civilization at the other end of the galaxy that powers its robot butlers by my sense of irony. whatever it is, i'm pissed.

Thursday, May 16, 2002
dannyboy 8:56 PM (0)



hm. looks like i'm at the point where getting attention doesn't thrill me at all. my superpower at the moment is the ability to stun you with my blase attitude.

Wednesday, May 15, 2002
dannyboy 8:35 PM (0)



hey benny, the quality of your linkage has been seriously lacking lately. shape up or i'm cutting you loose.

Malb 1:23 PM (0)


wow, why can't i have a crapper like this! awesome...

dannyboy 7:19 AM (0)


dear lord, i just had the worst piece of biscotti in new york. i think i need another piece just to confirm how awful it really is. ok. it tastes like someone accidentally dropped an entire fennel bush into the batter. thanks for nothing, "brooklyn bakery."

the other night i dreamed that i was getting into an elevator with russell simmons. he smelled nice. that is all.

Tuesday, May 14, 2002
dannyboy 9:07 PM (0)




joe circa 1999 - see besigner for the terrible details

Malb 7:57 AM (0)


hmmm..from the look of the photo, i'd say you were at 42nd getting tickets for star wars at the amc theatre.

Monday, May 13, 2002
dannyboy 7:26 PM (0)




dannyboy 7:55 AM (0)


earth shattering news, and a great faq filled with cosmological goodness to read. i'm going to name my children cosmo (boy) and astro (girl) so they can be mocked and ridiculed for all their lives.

dannyboy 7:31 AM (0)


final... exams...? what's that? i went to art school.

Sunday, May 12, 2002
moxy 11:22 PM (0)



Ever get this feeling? I'm actually not feeling that at this precise moment because I'm currently resisting the urge to hug Dan's new TiBook (which exists only on my monitor.) ... Ok, the urge has passed: now I'm back to this. I have two final exams tomorrow - Dan, you don't really miss that part about school, do you?

dannyboy 7:23 PM (0)


this week i will have been out of school for exactly a year. i can't think of anything more depressing right now. i'm going to go soak my head.

Friday, May 10, 2002
dannyboy 9:25 PM (0)




dannyboy 12:19 PM (0)


i've noticed a pattern. the last time i was depressed i bought a $300 xbox. that made me happy for a while. this week i spent 10x that much on my new toy, and it's definitely been a nice distraction. hopefully the next time i need cheering up i'll have matured... or made enough money for a new car.

dannyboy 10:41 AM (0)


find your digital theatre here. two in manhattan are: AMC on 42nd, and Clearview on W.54... oh, and wouldn't it be a better idea to see it on fri. or the weekend? anyway, call me and stuff.

Malb 7:43 AM (0)


well, i'm gathering "people" to see who wants to go on opening day, thursday, so i can get a head count. don't wanna end up scalping tickets....and which theater has digital screening. no, we are not going back to imax...crap theater...freakin' final fantasy...pheh!!

dannyboy 7:25 AM (0)


oh, ♥ natalie ♥... so, who's going to get advance tickets for me?

dannyboy 6:33 AM (0)


a lot of really bizarre things have been happening in and around work. anyone catch this article in the post? the attacker, the one who died, used to work for my company, at the factory. apparently he stopped going to work a few months ago. he happened to be the cousin of a current employee, who stabbed and killed someone, but in self-defense. and yesterday a detective for a capital punishment advocacy group (i never figured out for or against) came by to talk to us about a former employee who is now on DEATH ROW. sweet merciful crap.

dannyboy 6:20 AM (0)


having a svelte laptop is nice. having a svelte laptop with wireless internet is really nice. i am slightly worried though; i have the base station in the basement, so all the 2.5 Ghz of radiofied internet goodness is travelling straight up through the floor past my crotch and into the tibook. seriously, i've been in too many class-action suits already...

oh yeah, so everyone get 802.11 and we can have WAN parties at my place!

Thursday, May 09, 2002
dannyboy 11:31 AM (0)



my new powerbook was waiting for me when i got home last night. being a conscientious computer user the first thing i do is reformat and partition the HD. ok. restart from CD, fire up disk setup, and initialize. two seconds later it was done. hum. that seemed too easy. i should probably do a low-level and zero all the data, just to be sure. this was 7pm. fast forward to 10pm. the drive is about half done. good god. what the hell was i thinking. it's 12:30 and all i've done with my first night is install the OS. pictures of me kicking The Cat away from TiBook to come. i'm still thinking of what to name it. temporarily the two drives are named "noisy" and "quiet."

Wednesday, May 08, 2002
dannyboy 8:08 AM (0)



“In the well over a century since its invention by Dr. Mendeleev, the world has consistently failed to notice the word 'Table' clearly contained in the name 'Periodic Table', and has insisted in printing it on paper, hanging it on the wall, putting it in the back of chemistry textbooks, and generally doing all kinds of things with it that having nothing to do with being a table.”

Malb 7:42 AM (0)


summer is arriving and what does the soft drink industry offer us pepsi blue and vanilla coke. thank you crap water!!!

dannyboy 6:08 AM (0)


"Ah... yeah... Doctor Cosmo Kramer. [points to plate] Proctology."

Tuesday, May 07, 2002
moxy 7:46 PM (0)



This is possibly the dumbest study I've ever heard of. Feh.

dannyboy 6:42 PM (0)


mefh. so... angry... so very... angry. for moronic reasons that will only upset me more to explain, my tibook will not be coming until tomorrow. meh. going to go cry in the corner now, thanks.

Malb 5:56 AM (0)


hmmm...since you bought a powerbook, wanna give away your compaq laptop to moi.

Monday, May 06, 2002
dannyboy 7:02 PM (0)



ah. seriously, the biggest reason why i decided to buy one was to make all my friends jealous. it arrives tomorrow... needless to say i'll be documenting the whole experience, for your pleasure. boy, i don't know how much bigger this stupid grin on my face can get...

OMG YES someone from norway found my website last night by searching for "kjempeblekksprut."

moxy 6:06 PM (0)


You little punter, you! I can't believe you got it! I think that I do not have to say that I'm madly envious - screw that "thou shalt not covet" jibber jabber! Just kidding (sort of.) Congratulations =)

dannyboy 5:20 PM (0)


HOLY CRAP. i just spent an obscene amount of money on my new powerbook!!! aaaaaahh!

Sunday, May 05, 2002
dannyboy 7:46 PM (0)



i updated the squid links with two new... erm... squid links. julie just called me a "squidork."

dannyboy 10:14 AM (0)


i went shopping yesterday with my sister and brother-in-law, at a mega-mall in new jersey. insert standard anti-consumerist sprawl speech. (it's hard to not be a consumer when you have credit at banana republic.) hideaki drives a ford explorer too, so the experience was truly complete. shopping makes me want to go home and use the internet instead. we also stopped at IKEA, which is always surreal, in an insult-to-my-senses kind of way. i bought a cocktail shaker and some martini glasses. the shaker's o-ring popped off after my second batch, and i expect the glasses to crack soon as well. i'm not complaining--when you buy their wares you do so with the understanding that they are basically disposable. which is probably a good thing anyway.

i also got to watch Frontier House for 4 hours yesterday. good stuff. i missed the last episode though. hopefully they'll run the series again. PBS is so good it makes me want to buy a tivo. and The Prisoner is on tonight!

Saturday, May 04, 2002
dannyboy 9:23 PM (0)



ooof so drunk. update whe n i'm sober /. . .!

dannyboy 11:56 AM (0)


i mean just look at his work. in fairness, it's not the absolute worst type design i've seen. but clearly, this is what happens when programmers think they are designers... i don't mean to be a type snob... ok wait, i do mean to be a type snob. i mean, crap, this guy's been "designing fonts" for 10 years, how has he not managed to get any better at it?? oh, all your fonts are basically you doodling letters. uh. fan-tastic.

ok, and really, I'm Not This Big Of A Jerk™. i'm all for people expressing themselves. but come on now. representing yourself as a (cmu) font designer is just going to draw ire from the real designers, font or otherwise.

Friday, May 03, 2002
moxy 9:00 PM (0)



Sounds scandalous! Spill it! ;)

dannyboy 8:52 PM (0)


as i mentioned on besigner, i have conflicting feelings about all of this. don't get me wrong, i hate the DMCA just like everyone else. but he's something of a... well... he's not exactly well respected by the cmu designers. particularly the type designers. the real ones, who get paid to do that sort of thing. ahem. i took a font design class with him my senior year and well... ahem. anyhooo. my convictions sure make for strange bedfellows.

moxy 3:01 PM (0)


I saw the Slashdot article about this a few days back. In the comments somewhere, Tom said that the lawyers had clammed up and stopped bothering him; hopefully, that'll be the end of that for him. The DMCA is completely out of control. They're really hurting college radio as well.

dannyboy 8:42 AM (0)


fuck da DMCA

dannyboy 7:45 AM (0)


last night's dream featured The Cat prominently, who apparently is actually played by a set of triplets, much like the olsen twins in full house. i walked out of my bedroom, and one of the cats squeezed out from the hallway heat vent, turned around to give me a funny look, and them proceeded to give birth to a litter of kittens. they were popping out like champagne corks! but only half of them were kittens. the other half were humanoid-lemur looking creatures that walked upright: pink faces, huge eyes, and short white fur. it sounds disturbing, but it seemed absolutely normal in my dream.

Thursday, May 02, 2002
moxy 1:49 PM (0)



Say, don't forget to stop and smell the flowers, okay?

dannyboy 9:17 AM (0)


i had a really strange dream last night, that i only remember parts of. i remember reading a graph one of my subordinates handed me, and what was causing me concern was that only 7-8% of my troops were using bullets to kill the black bears. the rest were using explosives. to punctuate that statistic, i was walking around inspecting the battlefield and bear parts were everywhere. a head here, arms and legs over there. piles of disintegrated bear bodies. quite a mess, really.

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