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As with a low sucking sound it slowly disappeared again, Starbuck still gazing at the agitated waters where it had sunk, with a wild voice exclaimed—“Almost rather I had seen Moby Dick and fought him, than to have seen thee, thou white ghost!”
      “What was it, Sir?” said Flask.
      “The great live squid, which, they say, few whale-ships ever beheld and returned to their ports to tell of it.”

Moby-Dick, 1851


3-17-09  No one reads this column
Guys, FURL sucks. It has sucked for years, and I'm sorry I've been using it. I have switched over to delicious; I would have done this much sooner, but they made it really difficult the last time I tried.

4-21-08  Archives
Uhmm, apparently archives haven't really been working since late 2006. THANX for the heads up guys! They are temporarily fixed, and will stay temporarily fixed until I migrate to new software/layout. I have said some hilarious things in the last 7 years, that future generations will feel lucky I preserved. Go check them out.

1-18-08  new iPhone icon
Woah, it's been 3 years since the last news update! Fuzzysquid now has a webclips icon for your iPhone! It'll automagically show up when you add FS to your home screen. Atom and RSS feeds have been available for a few years now, but I never made special mention of it.

1-14-05  LJ images
Since it seems to be popular, and it's been linked in a lot of different places besides here, I've decided to post the LJ Images page. At least in the news, at least for now. It's also getting some Google ads because you LiveJournal people are sucking up all my bandwidth (35% for that one page!)

4-02-04  FURL
Check out what I've been browsing: FURL.net bookmark archive. Not much commentary, relevance, or sequitur—but it's what's keeping this blog from turning into a meme dumpster.



  1. TONMO - The Octopus News Magazine Online. Invaluable.
  2. Angrywhale - Meet Leonard. He's an angry sort of whale.
  3. The Squid Blog - From the Laughing Squid people.


  4. Moxyberry - Where the cousin is at. Her bookmarks here.
  5. Cranky User - Brian's bookmarks. Updated, unlike his site.
  6. Rosenstock - Her other ride is your mom.
  7. Lauren - Wet Hot Singaporean Blogging.
  8. Universal Donor - Like the prime number shitting bear, but with terrible back pain.
  9. Olivia - Who receives special dispensation from our usual policies.
BLAG  read the archive

Thursday, January 31, 2002
dannyboy 6:28 PM (0)



there are about a million other things i could be doing with my time. but its not as simple as just doing it, i'm afraid. every time that i realize time is passing, like with a milestone of some sort, i panic. its february tomorrow. i'm going to have a serious nervous breakdown when the stuy 5th year reunion comes around.

dannyboy 6:26 AM (0)


i'm finding it hard to concentrate today. its like the tiles on the floor are falling out from under me when i walk. last night i identified what was keeping me up (this time): i'm afraid of getting older. i've been thinking about what my life has been like the last several years... and how quickly they've gone. i feel like i'll turn around and i'll be 40.

Wednesday, January 30, 2002
dannyboy 7:13 PM (0)



this link was worth my time. maybe you'll like it too. also from japan, proof that the united states sucks.

dannyboy 9:04 AM (0)


last night i was watching part of the brain miniseries that's running on pbs. it was about schizophrenia, and this guy who had it was describing one of the symptoms as losing his ability to feel anything... no joy or sorrow; just being empty all the time. apparently this inability to relate to the rest of the world leads a lot of schizophrenics to suicide. which makes me wonder, since i've always thought of suicide as coming from depression, which is very emotional. perhaps its an intellectual decision for these people.

Tuesday, January 29, 2002
dannyboy 12:21 PM (0)



yes. yes they do.

dannyboy 9:25 AM (0)


i am feeling particularly misanthropic today. i'm going to try and pick a fight with the people in line at soho soups.

dannyboy 6:59 AM (0)


unfortunately (for my stomach), there really is a difference between premium organic chocolate milk, and quik. but one thing they do have in common is that they both taste like they came from their respective mascots.

Monday, January 28, 2002
dannyboy 1:25 PM (0)




things i am doing today:
  1. compulsively washing hands and mouse
  2. shining shoes with toothbrush left behind by previous worker
  3. sugar crashing

dannyboy 5:46 AM (0)


i was thinking this morning about one time in high school that this girl i kind of knew but didn't really handed me a letter. she said she didn't know who she was writing to when she wrote it, but things have a way of working out. she wounded up at carnegie mellon. i spoke to her exactly twice, after that. you can't keep in touch with your past, i always say.

Sunday, January 27, 2002
dannyboy 6:59 PM (0)



goddamnit, i'm farking sick of seeing airline ticket stubs everywhere i go. i'm tired of remembering all the places i've been.

dannyboy 9:45 AM (0)


everybody loves marie... i went to a kiddie bar with her last night, right by stuyvesant. it was a strikingly weird scene. "multicultural," she said. it was like a homeboy benetton ad. humpf. and i was just complaining about how all the bars i go to are filled with aging 30-something hipsters.

Friday, January 25, 2002
dannyboy 6:06 AM (0)



everyone's scurrying around today because we have a big client meeting this morning. i found it who our client is: bill gates. i got all excited momentarily at the prospect of seeing him up close and being able to punch him, but obviously its his interior designer/architect coming, not the actual nerd himself. i'd expect that he'd get a lot of punchings if he actually went around himself to do things.

Thursday, January 24, 2002
dannyboy 1:10 PM (0)



someone's imac got stolen, but luckily had timbuktu installed. when the thief went online, the guy made the computer call home and the police recovered the stolen computer. awesome. details here, complete with death scripts.

dannyboy 10:26 AM (0)


damn, the woz got fat.

dannyboy 7:07 AM (0)


fascinating article on the wayback machine, the world's largest database. its an archive of the internet for the last 5 years, consisting of 100 terabytes of data.

Wednesday, January 23, 2002
dannyboy 4:42 PM (0)



(btw, here's a useful tool for when you're posting your e-mail address on the web; it converts roman characters into html entities, and wraps them in javascript, thereby hiding your address from spambots. if you don't know what i'm talking about, you probably don't mind being spammed silly anyway)

dannyboy 11:03 AM (0)


small world v.2: one of my coworkers is friends with stephanie mcmahon. i would probably care more if i watched wrestling.

dannyboy 9:39 AM (0)


hm. just noticed that several links were mis-coded. sorry about that, they've been fixed. you people really ought to when things on the site don't go smoothly. this is YOUR fuzzysquid too...!

Tuesday, January 22, 2002
dannyboy 5:38 PM (0)



small world. found out today that "moose" heyliger, a real character from band of brothers (which i thoroughly enjoyed), has a son who's working for our company in the brooklyn location.

Monday, January 21, 2002
dannyboy 10:30 AM (0)



someone has expressed concern about not wanting to follow my "porno" links, for fear of being caught at work with their, erm, pants down. don't worry, all my links are safe unless clearly labelled.

dannyboy 6:58 AM (0)


i'm getting pretty sick of working holidays.

Friday, January 18, 2002
dannyboy 10:02 AM (0)



very random things: heeelp! gromiiit!! what time is it? lite-brite. Marc Andreessen's fav porno. the condiment packet museum. 150 things not to do (or say) at (or for) your thesis defense. wisdom from the krishna.

dannyboy 9:46 AM (0)


dating tips from the onion: "Instead of going out tonight, punch yourself in the nuts three times and the heart twice. This will save you approximately $75."

Thursday, January 17, 2002
dannyboy 4:22 PM (0)



it really seems to be porno month here on fuzzysquid... so here's an oldie, but goodie: furniture porn! you know you want to...

Wednesday, January 16, 2002
dannyboy 4:08 PM (0)



so the photo studio a floor beneath us had some playboy models in for a shoot today. i was going to make up some excuse to go down there (misdirected mail) and mill about, but one of my deadlines got pushed up, and i had to work through lunch instead. models go in and out of our building regularly, and its such a non-event when you see an attractive woman in nyc anyway. water water everywhere, but not a drop to drink...

dannyboy 6:57 AM (0)


eeew! someone found fuzzysquid by searching for "poopie porn." i feel dirty...

Monday, January 14, 2002
dannyboy 4:52 PM (0)



i touched a woman on the train today. it was rush-hour crowded, and we shared a strap. human contact in new york can be really weird.

anyway. squid in the news. i still haven't figured out what mcsweeney is all about, but i think i like it.

Sunday, January 13, 2002
dannyboy 8:01 PM (0)



apparently, the true color of the universe is the same color as the walls in the bedroom of my last apartment. speaking of my last apartment, our kitchen had a mouse problem. luckily for me, they mostly stayed in the kitchen, which was seperated from my bedroom. unluckily for my roommate, it was pretty much right where he slept. joe bought the "humane" mouse traps, the ones where you catch it, and can release it (or drown them). problem is, joe was so traumatized by the releasing and catching mice in general, he basically just threw out the $10 traps. which was fine, since once released, the mice would just run right back inside.

dannyboy 4:50 PM (0)


i stayed away from the new york public library for the last 10 years, and what happens when i decide to go in today? the man at the next computer is surfing porn. and not plain-vanilla playboy titty porn either... ick. i mean, if you're going to do something like that at a library, i guess it doesn't really matter if you expose the specific details of your sexual deviance to every high school sophomore who's trying to get a copy of beowulf.

Saturday, January 12, 2002
dannyboy 6:32 PM (0)



what the hell?! Xbox won't read my copied cd's! how the hell am i supposed to mix a soundtrack for halo if it won't recognize 90% of my music! stupid linux geeks need to hurry up and hack it for me

dannyboy 12:57 PM (0)


holy crap. i just got an xbox... its pretty freakin awesome. but it is from microsoft, so i had to get about $70 worth of CABLES just to get it hooked up to the home theatre system... i gotta say, there's nothing like spending $500 to lift yourself temporarily out of a depression...

Friday, January 11, 2002
dannyboy 11:53 PM (0)



remember catscan? here's tittyscan! it's not porn per se, but the images on this site are definitely very graphic (ugh... get the windex). don't look unless you can claim responsibility for your own actions. i don't want any of you going blind and blaming me... and definitely don't browse this at work...

Thursday, January 10, 2002
dannyboy 4:28 PM (0)



god. i would actually read slashdot if 1) it weren't so friggin hardcore, but mostly because 2) its got the information design sensibilities of a linux user. i mean, other nerd sites would have to go out of their way to make themselves this hard to read. wtf? i hate people who are not me.

oh, and i should probably say something about the new imac. shrug. don't know yet. haven't made up my mind. the first day i was pretty excited about it, but now it kind of makes me angry.

Monday, January 07, 2002
dannyboy 7:05 PM (0)



holy crap! npr has an article about a newly discovered giant squid!

dannyboy 6:46 PM (0)


lots of stolen links today! all pre-screened for fuzzysquid quality: workplace death-fu. swear in german! swear in english. Rocket wa su-go-i!

Sunday, January 06, 2002
dannyboy 6:34 PM (0)



ok, this is getting bobba-k ing ridiculous. a google search for my name results in a link for my review on amazon & my besigner contact info on the second page, and on the very last page (out of 12+) is the squid. my daniel_kuo.html page isn't even listed. wtf. i'm pretty sick of this crap, google. i checked the logs, and people are getting to my page by searching for the following: "leonardo da vinci," "small displays embedded," "dever airport weird," "shaolin soccer movie pictures," "home depo store's," and best of all "asia carrera" (which of course, is a multi-hit). BUT NOT ONE SEARCH FOR "DANIEL KUO" RESULTS IN THE SQUID BEING LISTED. OMGFU INTERNET!

dannyboy 10:28 AM (0)


we've blogged recently about the universe, and the nature of our existence. and now for something completely irrelevant:

"Human is 1 corner character of a 4-corner metamorphosis. Cubic Power contradicts god. Earth life is heaven and hell. Self is lowest humanity form. Humans born of 2 opposites, femininity  and  masculinity, to a 4-corner metamorphosis: baby, child, parent, gd.parent. God concept is human doom. Family Cube is creation body. Village equates highest order. Teach god singularity  &  you teach evil to Cubic humanity. Evil people ignore TimeCube. Word is fraught with evil,  as in a virus among languages. Time Cube corners word god. Cubic Time  transcends gods. Cowards fear the Time Cube...Gene is The Greatest Thinker and Wisest Human."
-Gene Ray of Timecube.

Friday, January 04, 2002
dannyboy 6:09 AM (0)



i talked to inky last night, who was concerned about us all expanding to nothingness. i reassured him that we have quite a few billion years before that happens. we should worry more about our sun expanding and toasting all of us to a crisp, which will happen in 5 billion years. and inky should worry about being eaten by a sperm whale before anything else.

the economist has a very handy 8 article survey of well... the universe.

and in other animal companion death related news, buddy was killed! :(

Thursday, January 03, 2002
dannyboy 4:53 PM (0)



a familiar NYT article about how we're all going to die. what the article doesn't describe very well is that not only will knowledge be lost, but all meaning... the universe (apparently) is destined to age into mind-numbingly rapid expansion, a desert of black holes, which will eventually evaporate, and ultimately there will be so much space between single particles as to make everything utterly meaningless. and speaking of life, the universe, and everything, one of two people found my review of stephen hawking's new book to be helpful.

Wednesday, January 02, 2002
dannyboy 2:24 PM (0)



got a new G4 at work today, and i'm posting this from OS X 10.1! woo... its a lot faster than when i last used it (although the last time i used X was on my G3/300, so it may not actually be software optimization at all). i definitely feel good about transitioning to X though, now that i've see genie in its 30fps glory...!

dannyboy 5:42 AM (0)


lots of game related news today. i confirmed recently that in addition to having the best box art, chu chu rocket is the best 4-player game available on dreamcast. i also heard from a friend that The Simpsons Road Rage for Xbox is actually fun. i still wouldn't recommend actually purchasing this game though. and as per my new year's resolution, i will no longer consider the gamecube's cuteness, nor the xbox's vomit-inducing bad looks in my eventual console buying decision.

Tuesday, January 01, 2002
dannyboy 7:04 PM (0)



dear sprintpcs: suck it. i hate you so much. dear motorola 8676: FU. go to hell, inanimate piece of cheap-expensive plastic. oh right. happy new year! i resolve this year not to let outward appearences and superficial qualities fool me into a painfully regrettable situation.

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